Laundry

I'm also doing the 2nd wash for the towels and and washing my bedding since I went out last night and slept in my bed without a shower-bath, twice.

My food is done cooking, and I'm waiting for it to cool.

I found "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" is having reruns as of a certain day, yesterday or today, have to see when it starts again, assume at least a week after the New Year.  Hope I get in that acting class, but I have a feeling I won't.  It seems the community college, especially in the arts, is not for adults, even.  I was recommended into dance at a ballet school there at age 20, 21.

I have to refill my soap and wash my glasses.  They're dusty.  I was thinking of getting my own soaps and think I will.

What I'm Doing

I had 2 pieces of French bread pizza and grapefruit juice and water.

I'm cooking a pretty big piece of beef and spinach and mushrooms I found in the refrigerator, which is what I liked to buy and my mom got for me.

I'm also cooking eggs to make egg salad sandwich.

My grandma gave us the Christmas candy and several gingerbread cookies.  I had a buckeye, a piece of peanut butter fudge (no chocolate, I think,) and one of the cookies with marshmallows, which I best liked,for once.  I was wondering in New Orleans to me it seemed the thing was to be like spicy and of the old-fashioned based heritage that's become vintage and takes over the civilization, which is very rather sedentary.  I guess moving can be a big deal.  So, I kinda grew up more strict and modern in a sense, not about baking cookies and not really making any fudge.  It's probably because my mom's not American and something else.  My dad liked things like peanut butter cookies.  His dad drank a lot so probably wasn't a cookie guy, not from a farm and had a college degree to be a funeral director who did everything, I think.  I know he liked Edgar Allan Poe and that my dad has read lots of other like science fiction type philosophy seeming themed interest books.  As far as I know, his dad is all white, but I found that most people have Jewish last names from the Germany area.  It seems like a big deal that my grandma's mom wasn't indian.  She wasn't even always sure she was indian.  Supposedly, the records burned down in a building.

So, I'm gonna watch "The Ellen DeGeneres Show."  I have 3 episodes to catch up on.  I was thinking of watching today's 1st, in case I don't get to the day before, I guess, not sure which is better, this time.  The other 1 I don't have recorded because we got a new TV thing.  So, I should watch the videos online and think I happened to see 1 or 2 from her Twitter.

Dream

I was tired and don't remember all of it.  Anyway, I remember I was in bed, and I felt people on the sides of me.  I think my arms were being like held, and it felt good, kinda like serious, kinda fuzzy, not necessarily 2 physical hands but not just a force.  I was in a hotel.  I was imagining a series of things happening, I think sometimes with Ellen DeGeneres.  So, I was in the bed, which felt like a fold-out couch bed, with white sheets.  My ears were being pinched, and they couldn't pinch them.  They were being pierced.  This lated awhile but not too too long.  Then, I said something about how I shaved my face.  It as Anne Hathaway.  I said there was hair on my mustache, which I don't know if there is.  She buzzed it, and it just felt good, didn't feel much.  Then, she quickly zipped up my nostrels and I yelled out upset.  Then, a dark shadow of Ellen DeGeneres quickly bent over and hugged me from my head.  It gave me a feeling.  It was for awhile but not very realistic and not the best feeling.  Then, for a long time, the figure massaged the middle of the base limbs of my arms.  Sometimes, I went out it seemed but not just like that, some reason I think.  Sometimes, I think of her roots, and now she was imposing on me the thoughts of her own dad.  Like, she was connecting it to her in my dream.  This lasted so long, the massaging of my arms, which was probably something I was trying to feel and decided to dream about it.  I think I finally got up.  It was a long time, and I thought it was still about her.  Anyway, my cousin had been there.  I saw her.  My face looked different, supposedly influenced from being Jewish.  It had kinda a porcelain look, with more rounded eyes rather than like stretched out round eyes.  My cousin like emitted "Chinese."  She was a little smaller, looked a bit like me when I was younger, like this picture of me when I'm 2-3 up north but not much.  So, I sat with her and some interesting things happened.  Then, it turned out that my aunt's husband's son and some other boys who looked like him were really Ellen DeGeneres at 1 point I think when I was awake, though I don't remember what it really was.  It was like she came back or like an idea of Olivia Newton-John, in the end.  So, we were in a car, and it was like someone was driving and it was hard, and then someone like Olivia Newton-John drove.  I don't remember what was going on, but it's not as interesting as me lying down in the dark.

Problem

Did you notice Ellen DeGeneres kinda holding in?  Someone is mad I didn't follow her on Twitter over the summer.  I don't know why I didn't feel invited.  =|

Also, I think Aunt 1 is antsy I switched blogs after I got mad, like that was the result, like a reward and not a change.  Most bad people get extra attention and things.

Dream

It was kinda really dangerous in ways was dangerous from the start I mean.  I think Ellen DeGeneres was in it.  It was a dark place where you find rooms, like in a video game or fantasy.  I went to a class of Órla Fallon twice, with my family, going through text, and I conquered in the end.  She left, at 1 point.  I think I was onto her.  It was about me not following her in the summer having a baby and how I was seeing if following her would work out.  She had a low, resonating voice with a twanging, non-country, in it, like my harp's low notes got, around when her baby was born.  Then, there was a time when a little magical demon came that was magical and trying to murder us, I guess, though it wasn't like crystal clear as to what it was doing, probably jumping about, more like "the" villain.  It went behind a like cheap sorta carpeted, gray wall.  I guess it came back with 3 more people there.  It was like I was there with my mom and dad, didn't want to be with them in this dream, for the 1st time, felt a lot of irritation.  So, then, these 2 long, tall characters were like fighting it and got it in a box and were killing it with zaps, like saying it was Voldemort.  Then, I woke up.  It was interesting, nice I conquered and was gonna follow this person in the summer, follow in some way, like studying.

Seeing Things in the Mist

Did you think that Ellen DeGeneres heaves a sigh of disapproval when someone else sees something in the mist but her herself does it a lot?

Well, having said what was on my mind, I guess I should figure it out.  There may be a reason.  Maybe, it's how people act, but there's truth to it, in some way.

Also, I got a lot of negative connotation from the idea that Portia might have some racist background against people like me.  Not sure how interesting that is to most people...  I mean, anything should spark an interest, but it's kinda negative and confusing and a lot at once, for me.

Problem

I'm fed up with people getting back at me for getting mad at the things that happen as a result of the popularity of Ellen DeGeneres and Tim Burton.

I met a black guy today who worked somewhere, and I ended up inquiring about him in some way that led to him giving me his race, which he tried to say was mixed.  Then, he said he thought I was Chinese, and he said like oh your eyes and some other stuff I don't remember and the hair.  I don't really see how my hair is Chinese.  He asked if I was full-blooded Chinese, though.  However, he was kinda abusive, and he made me feel like I was kinda tacky and weak.  I walked with him and talked for it seemed like 45 minutes.  He has my number and is supposed to call.

Problem

So, Ellen DeGeneres just choses whichever says you're wrong, doesn't really think there's an explanation, like a fun time.

Problem

I need a shower and more rest.  And exercise|a walk.

I noticed Ellen DeGeneres is assertive, like that other people are, and she doesn't let them be.

Problem

What do you think of Ellen DeGeneres reacting positively that I deserve something bad for something I did?

Problem

I guess Ellen DeGeneres is the new Tim Burton, but you can't have her.

The big argument was that people happened to watch Tim Burton as young kids.  I didn't even know they were that young.

Problem

What is Ellen DeGeneres's problem?  Why can't I think of something and not have it happen to me?  People make fun of me, too.  That's not supposed to "have" to happen.

Problem

STOP INSULTING ME WITH THE TIMING OF HOW YOU LOAD THE COMPUTER.  THEY CALLED SOMEONE'S FOOT VIETNAM.

Also, they think Ellen DeGeneres is insulting me for fun.  It's really annoying.  I'm not gonna think about that.

Also, stop poking at my dad because you also gave my mom glasses.

Ellen DeGeneres keeps making me feel weird and like I shouldn't be cool.

Dreams

Right now, I'm thinking of the 2nd 1.  I guess I'll go into a part where someone was kinda in it, Ellen DeGeneres, but I was trying to imagine someone carrying me and someone putting their hand around me.  So, 1st, I imagined like for awhile sometime that someone was carrying me at my butt to their hip.  Stuff like that, like how my legs were actually short and my torso was shorter, something I never thought about, like thought about about nor maybe totally noticed.  Then I imagined I was walking and a someone I was able to make up between 3 people was putting her arm around me to like my elbow for awhile, was a but sappy and then their other hand like over the front of me in places.  At 1 point, I was even imagining in a prior dream, that I was being rubbed but stopped, maybe my stomach.  I'm not sure why, but I liked to lie in bed and feather over my legs in my sleep.  So, in the 2nd dream, I was like in a dangerous land of like Pokémon.  We went into a nursing station with girls at a desk working and someone showed me, put a needle in my hand to let me feel it was fun, like it made my hand feel caring.  Then, they did it in another way again maybe in the other hand.  I contended, thinking, I had other interests, rather than other thoughts that passed me.  It had become dangerous to press against glass.  There was a little zebra, and there were some scary crocodilians.  1 was just with a little fence of rocks on a platform, and it was jutting out, wanting to jump down.  I told them the zebra was in danger.  A more boyish character girl came out with a little tubular rifle and shot out like a bomb bullet and supposedly accidentally hit the zebra, who turned into in some communication a human, like walking with sneakers, like it had dressed up, and its elbow was hit.  Before, I saw a painting with some lady artists in a little tent booth doing art of pinkish zebras and then dolphins with pink tints and a lady would make like a smaller 1 for $10.  I think the big 1 I looked at of dolphins was like $78 or maybe $48 but I think more like $80.  Then, I was like in a dance hall going around.  I guess I was lying down.  Then, I got up with 2 tall, more big girls, from the New Orleans area.  I was thinking of my hight, meditating on it.  It was what it was, 5'1" to 5'4", more short then and kinda made fun of as people seemed to seep in their sleeping bags.  I was being judged, like it was a phantasmagoria with like drums beating in the back, too.  So, I stretched up and found ooh 5'5" ... 5'6"?  So, I went up to a lady in dark lying on the floor on a stage in front with a headband I was twirling around, after a girl from that area who did a lot of dance did something with me.  I said, look, I'm 5'6", or something like that.  The person was like good.  Oh yes, that was Ellen DeGeneres, but it didn't look much like her.  However, I could still dip to 5'1", and I wasn't sure what to do ... as I lay down with a girl, before, I guess, a big girl, I was thinking well I'm still 11, not sure why, so that's why I'm 5'1", which I'm supposed to not be that big, still.  So, before that, we were like traveling, and there was this shower and I was stimulating myself a few times like across the floor.  I was thinking of how Ellen DeGeneres was stimulated "in the same way."  Some people were like coming.  It was like a bath stall or hotel.  So, I was stimulating myself not just in that way.  At 1 point, my dad came in and I was holding a towel, and I left.  Then, this was before the other dream, like we were on a ledge, and my dad was like this is a city, and I almost fell off a cliff corner of sand.  I don't remember what happened next, but it was dangerous.  There was a dream before this 1, too.  Now, I remember, also, at the nursing station, they were gonna give people shots but I guess not me for safety like in a physical defense somehow.  My mom asked if it would explode.  The nurse inserted a shot into her arm, and a long tube of blood filled and a bubble popped at the end.  I spent quite awhile wanting to feel like someone was carrying me, I guess been latching onto how I used to beg my mom to carry me when I was 2 and 3.  I guess it was like feeding birds trying to get that feeling.  Like, sometimes, I had to often base it more on seeing something, though.  I saw it like in pieces, of course, in a complex way, that I probably use, often.  In music, though, I tend to also hear things in pieces, whereas, before, I didn't and was always very bewildered, until maybe a specific song seeped in or I had listened to too much, though I don't remember the songs specifically to their experiences.  I wish I remembered more.  I saved a more happy scene for my Twitter background, a cartoon.  It was kinda dangerous and complicated.  I had about 5 folders, and some were serious, like rocky people.  Also, lately, I've been more stung to not experience a sorta rebuttle of feelings, from watching Ellen DeGeneres, and am thinking something is wrong.  I mean, just more today, I thought that.  I wish I wouldn't have to think something the opposite of what I'm feeling when I'm embarrassed, though.  I just measured myself, too, and I'm, roughly up to 5'5", meaning the average juts there when I stretch my heels down.

What to Do

What should I do, now?  Clean my room?  Take a shower?  Iron and do laundry?  Watch "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" if it recorded on the new TV thing?  Plan my shopping and money?

Just Got Back

I had a sub, grapefruit juice, and 2 thick Reeses, which were good.

I'm feeling kinda tired, plasticy, need a shower.. probably should to to bed.  :(  I keep getting like stopped by these noises I here, even like when I'm changing.  So, I guess, like, I sleep for, what, sometimes 8-12 hours?  Then, an hour probably gets wasted and I spend most of my blogging time on Problems.  Then, there's an hour I watch "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" and I spend some time Networking.  I don't even cook.  What does this say about me?  I used to have more time.  So, I spend time being interrupted every so often.  This is quite a hiatus, the reaction in 2005 to Johnny Depp and Tim Burton, something no one talks about.

Problem

What is the problem?  Do people, like Ellen DeGeneres, need to stop each time you think of something tacky, like the way people are in general, when it doesn't really come up all that often.  That is gay!  I mean, I can't say anything without being knocked out like I'm the only one without a point.

Problem

I was gonna post something about my life related to Ellen DeGeneres's Tweet but forgot.

Problem

Last season, Ellen DeGeneres was onto what you think in private.  This season, I thought she had messages for me as annoying clicks in my room and then got mad she did it, then like I couldn't get restaurant food taken to me recently, my mom got glasses, and I think something else, more of an idea, which made sense in the end.  Like, sometimes, I didn't feel like going to the grocery store or my dad wouldn't buy me enough some.

TV

It looks like Ellen DeGeneres is taking a break maybe after Christmas because I guess I never had to check out who was coming up that much in advance because I don't ever feel that well, have that much life.  I'm busy blogging.  I know no one reads it, and it's all about being mad about things, like after I've watched her show.