Ah!

I just finished with the food and lots of laundry, gonna get up and use the bathroom again in awhile I guess.  Gonna make a new Blogger and look up Christmas Facebook banners for Christmas.  I have more dishes in my room to bring to the kitchen.  I just sneezed.  I took my vitamins and just found I need 2 Princess vitamins a day, for adults or kids.

Laundry

I'm also doing the 2nd wash for the towels and and washing my bedding since I went out last night and slept in my bed without a shower-bath, twice.

My food is done cooking, and I'm waiting for it to cool.

I found "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" is having reruns as of a certain day, yesterday or today, have to see when it starts again, assume at least a week after the New Year.  Hope I get in that acting class, but I have a feeling I won't.  It seems the community college, especially in the arts, is not for adults, even.  I was recommended into dance at a ballet school there at age 20, 21.

I have to refill my soap and wash my glasses.  They're dusty.  I was thinking of getting my own soaps and think I will.

Food

What should I do?  My dad won't bring me home fancy restaurant food, like Olive Garden or Applebee's.  Also, when I went out to eat with him at Perkins, he made me stimulated or aroused but not feel like a tingly feeling in my stomach and tried associating it with a waitress.  He also believes if an idea ticks that it's, like, absolutely something true.  I haven't eaten at a fancy restaurant in a long time.  I've been eating alone, got tired of soup and Tyson's chicken strips.  I've been getting subs and fast food.  At home, I have my beef and cooked greens.  I don't like peppers, onions, tomatos, etc.  I won't eat them, unless they were chopped up into tiny bits and mixed with bread or something like that.  I even stopped putting spice on it.  My parents eat weirdly, weird simple Asian-based food that is kinda unhealthy and not very tasty or some fancy fix-up with sorta just more hot spices and maybe some kinda juicy sauce.  I never eat with them, anymore.  They usually just have chicken and often have rice.  I started eating like this because I had such a good time at Cracker Barrel.  Once, my dad was rude to me and I got mad.  It sounded like 1 guy suddenly said, "nigger."  I was getting tired of just Olive Garden and Cracker Barrel.

So, it sounds like some people want to know if I liked what my mom cooked when I was little, when she's Asian and the good stuff isn't sold here.  I did eat things like Pizza Lunchables, maybe twice a week, funny on top of pizza on Fridays at that school.  My mom didn't like engage me in picking out food at the grocery store, and I learned what people at a long time ago in the U.S.  I can't believe how you|anyone would actually went|go into what my dad ate.  Yea, he's from a farming area, but they don't eat the kind of stuff you eat in the West|Midwest.  Their food seems thin.  I guess moving to the New Orleans area, my appetite increased.  It's funny, though, his family is from Northwestern Pennsylvania.  I think that my grandma has always made good candy, Buckeyes, chocolate fudge, peanut butter fudge, these things of a compilation with marshmallows like fudgy cookies, and oatmeal cookies, which lots of people have made.  It is about the best I've tasted, had a good homemade taste.  Speaking of my grandma, it seems people say that I'm not good as a suggestion but never say why and the reason is never clear.  My parents think I don't have total attitude control and that it doesn't matter if people are mean to me.  I don't really know what it's like to get mad at other people having your food.  I think Italy has good ice cream shops.  In Florida, I guess the food is kinda made to be satisfying yet trashy in a lot of ways but not like infested with maggots.  I think Ellen DeGeneres gets mad at me for growing up in Southeastern and Northeastern Florida until I turned 12 because I'm really tight, realy tightly built and compact, in a way that is not necessary but sorta the arsenal I have in life, unnecessary in that my life isn't complete.  That may not make sense, but you may not really know.  I mean, if you did, you could tell me.  I can't really fix things like that that sound good.  Well, the restaurants are a bit, er, ... what's the word ... vengeful.  I guess the food is fine at the fancy restaurants.

Part of the thing is I thought it'd be cool "not to cook."

My Mom in Glasses

She hasn't been eating breakfast.  I'm afraid that the reason was because I didn't eat a hearty breakfast growing up.  I got glasses at 9.  I think I had poptarts starting at 6.  Maybe, that's why.  Before, I remember having eggs and toast.  After, bagels with butter.  After, I think I made full meals.  In college, PBJ, from Whole Foods, or not sure what else, Odwalla bars, sometimes bought an Odwalla smoothie.  Odwalla chocolate bars are really good and so are other flavors or were to me.

I don't really see that someone has to have breakfast.  She eats a full supper and a scanty yet quite compiled lunch, it seems..  I was actually worried the whole time, in disbelief, these, however long, living here 7½ years.  I know she's done this since living in this place, 5 years.  I think I counted wrong.  Can't figure it out, for some reason.

I don't know what she used to have for breakfast but used to have tea for bead.

So, people shouldn't get mad at parents just because their kids don't eat breakfast.  I know that some people have their moms make them breakfast.  I didn't really wake up in time, and I think my mom gave me every meal.  I think I lost energy eating school lunch, the unhealthy kind because it tasted good.  Then, I started having more health-based lunches.  That's not why I couldn't read and succeed in a lecture, all of a sudden, much, at all.  I didn't even want the apple.  I wanted breakfast, might have had it once or twice.

Problem

I need a shower and more rest.  And exercise|a walk.

I noticed Ellen DeGeneres is assertive, like that other people are, and she doesn't let them be.

Dreams

Right now, I'm thinking of the 2nd 1.  I guess I'll go into a part where someone was kinda in it, Ellen DeGeneres, but I was trying to imagine someone carrying me and someone putting their hand around me.  So, 1st, I imagined like for awhile sometime that someone was carrying me at my butt to their hip.  Stuff like that, like how my legs were actually short and my torso was shorter, something I never thought about, like thought about about nor maybe totally noticed.  Then I imagined I was walking and a someone I was able to make up between 3 people was putting her arm around me to like my elbow for awhile, was a but sappy and then their other hand like over the front of me in places.  At 1 point, I was even imagining in a prior dream, that I was being rubbed but stopped, maybe my stomach.  I'm not sure why, but I liked to lie in bed and feather over my legs in my sleep.  So, in the 2nd dream, I was like in a dangerous land of like Pokémon.  We went into a nursing station with girls at a desk working and someone showed me, put a needle in my hand to let me feel it was fun, like it made my hand feel caring.  Then, they did it in another way again maybe in the other hand.  I contended, thinking, I had other interests, rather than other thoughts that passed me.  It had become dangerous to press against glass.  There was a little zebra, and there were some scary crocodilians.  1 was just with a little fence of rocks on a platform, and it was jutting out, wanting to jump down.  I told them the zebra was in danger.  A more boyish character girl came out with a little tubular rifle and shot out like a bomb bullet and supposedly accidentally hit the zebra, who turned into in some communication a human, like walking with sneakers, like it had dressed up, and its elbow was hit.  Before, I saw a painting with some lady artists in a little tent booth doing art of pinkish zebras and then dolphins with pink tints and a lady would make like a smaller 1 for $10.  I think the big 1 I looked at of dolphins was like $78 or maybe $48 but I think more like $80.  Then, I was like in a dance hall going around.  I guess I was lying down.  Then, I got up with 2 tall, more big girls, from the New Orleans area.  I was thinking of my hight, meditating on it.  It was what it was, 5'1" to 5'4", more short then and kinda made fun of as people seemed to seep in their sleeping bags.  I was being judged, like it was a phantasmagoria with like drums beating in the back, too.  So, I stretched up and found ooh 5'5" ... 5'6"?  So, I went up to a lady in dark lying on the floor on a stage in front with a headband I was twirling around, after a girl from that area who did a lot of dance did something with me.  I said, look, I'm 5'6", or something like that.  The person was like good.  Oh yes, that was Ellen DeGeneres, but it didn't look much like her.  However, I could still dip to 5'1", and I wasn't sure what to do ... as I lay down with a girl, before, I guess, a big girl, I was thinking well I'm still 11, not sure why, so that's why I'm 5'1", which I'm supposed to not be that big, still.  So, before that, we were like traveling, and there was this shower and I was stimulating myself a few times like across the floor.  I was thinking of how Ellen DeGeneres was stimulated "in the same way."  Some people were like coming.  It was like a bath stall or hotel.  So, I was stimulating myself not just in that way.  At 1 point, my dad came in and I was holding a towel, and I left.  Then, this was before the other dream, like we were on a ledge, and my dad was like this is a city, and I almost fell off a cliff corner of sand.  I don't remember what happened next, but it was dangerous.  There was a dream before this 1, too.  Now, I remember, also, at the nursing station, they were gonna give people shots but I guess not me for safety like in a physical defense somehow.  My mom asked if it would explode.  The nurse inserted a shot into her arm, and a long tube of blood filled and a bubble popped at the end.  I spent quite awhile wanting to feel like someone was carrying me, I guess been latching onto how I used to beg my mom to carry me when I was 2 and 3.  I guess it was like feeding birds trying to get that feeling.  Like, sometimes, I had to often base it more on seeing something, though.  I saw it like in pieces, of course, in a complex way, that I probably use, often.  In music, though, I tend to also hear things in pieces, whereas, before, I didn't and was always very bewildered, until maybe a specific song seeped in or I had listened to too much, though I don't remember the songs specifically to their experiences.  I wish I remembered more.  I saved a more happy scene for my Twitter background, a cartoon.  It was kinda dangerous and complicated.  I had about 5 folders, and some were serious, like rocky people.  Also, lately, I've been more stung to not experience a sorta rebuttle of feelings, from watching Ellen DeGeneres, and am thinking something is wrong.  I mean, just more today, I thought that.  I wish I wouldn't have to think something the opposite of what I'm feeling when I'm embarrassed, though.  I just measured myself, too, and I'm, roughly up to 5'5", meaning the average juts there when I stretch my heels down.

Doing Stuff

I ironed my pants from about a week ago?  I called Ginny 2 or 3 more times and am recording it on my camera.  I need to do my nails.  I was gonna go out but maybe not.  Maybe see if I can get a strawberry smoothie at a Mickey D's.

I'm also washing my clothes.

The thing is my alarm isn't waking me up, isn't very big.  I prefer to wear earplugs to bed, as well.  I think I slept a lot, recently, so maybe I need to be up and doing something, like cleaning my room but, unfortunately, think I need a break, possibly will lie down.

Glasses

What do you think of people who don't need glasses?

What to Do

What should I do, now?  Clean my room?  Take a shower?  Iron and do laundry?  Watch "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" if it recorded on the new TV thing?  Plan my shopping and money?

Problem

Why do you keep spouting lies at me, and what about the connotation of the word lies floats your fancy?  You don't have anything to say.  What about food?  What am I supposed to do?  My dad eats out with me but won't bring it home.

So, I get to sit here hours a day plowing through shit?

Problem

My eyes kinda feel meshy, like they're going out, with pressure.  Kinda like fuzzy, fading.  I have a feeling I need a rest from 711.  It's so hard to come by food.  My dad doesn't seem to want to bring me home good restaurant food.

Just Got Back

I had a sub, grapefruit juice, and 2 thick Reeses, which were good.

I'm feeling kinda tired, plasticy, need a shower.. probably should to to bed.  :(  I keep getting like stopped by these noises I here, even like when I'm changing.  So, I guess, like, I sleep for, what, sometimes 8-12 hours?  Then, an hour probably gets wasted and I spend most of my blogging time on Problems.  Then, there's an hour I watch "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" and I spend some time Networking.  I don't even cook.  What does this say about me?  I used to have more time.  So, I spend time being interrupted every so often.  This is quite a hiatus, the reaction in 2005 to Johnny Depp and Tim Burton, something no one talks about.

Ate

I had some crackers with spread, some leftover, the non-wheat ones, including the cheddar-flavored crackers with peanut butter, the whole thing, probably won't get this kind in the future, gonna get all the kinds without peanut butter and maybe the other 1 with peanut butter if it's affordable.  I had some of the sour, sugared gummies, labeled best by Oct. 27, 2013.  I don't know if I'm going back to sleep or just lie down, maybe watch myself some on YouTube, maybe work on posting on IMDb.  Since hitting my forehead, I've been more tired waking up.  I noticed I slept more tonight.  I was a little sick, sniffling, with irritation, too, from smelling that guy walk by.

Problem

I know that my eyes kinda turned off when I got glasses.  I was feeling pressured a lot for my race and because my dad was not like a wild man and my mom had dark, reddish eyes.  Anyway, I was the best in gymnastics but not on a team but seemed to move up often for some reason and did art since I was 3 or possibly "2."  I was considered artistic all the time.  But then I got glasses but still was a good artist considerably, though when my vision got worse and I moved I guess things looked kinda like I drank coffee.  When my glasses are off and I look at the screen, the colors appear real, like it's still the 90s.  The good thing is I can actually function without glasses, and things don't look blurry in the dark.  I know things weren't blurry before I took the medication.  It might have gotten blurry after I came back from school and we had to move to a house quickly to avoid the constant noise.  I know sometimes things appear blurry but I just feel for my eyes and it becomes corrected.  So, I can actually see, but I can really pressure my eyes.  I need to film my eyes up close.  They're kinda like I guess 90s eyes but have a kinda fuzzy feel of protection, for some reason.  But, no, if I went outside, I would not be able to see things clearly.

Showered

I took a shower and bath.  My vision is a little blurry.  My dad suggested I was blind.

I also have cream over a rubbery, salty pimple over the side of my lip.

My neck's been hurting, and now my back had a kinda fold, like a crease, in the middle.

I almost fell asleep in the bathtub a few times.

Stinky

I really need a bath, can't get into bed.  Gonna lie on my sofa.

Back!

Ugh!  I wanna lie down but need a bath.

Problem

Uh, am not feeling well.

Tim Burton can't say oh everything's okay, and then say no it was what.

Ou!

My right hand fingers have been hurting, the joints.  I put on some moisturizer to see if it would help.  I think the sun, also, did it.

Showered