Thursday, December 20, 2012
Handle on Things
So, people born before me, like in the 70s, think they have more a handle on things like Mary Poppins but don't give their kids that same world thinking they "did 1." that they found something that was unnecessary and never bothered going into anything, at all, like the children in the, like, mid 60s.
Feeling Groo vy
I just walked outside in my PJs, shorts and a tank with a fox, thought it was a toucan, while my dad was about to fix my internet, but I guess he didn't.
No One on the Li ine
So, I tried calling Ginny Kopf, again. Guess, I'll try again, tomorrow. Maybe, it's her Valencia office.
Problem
So, Ellen DeGeneres just choses whichever says you're wrong, doesn't really think there's an explanation, like a fun time.
Problem
I need a shower and more rest. And exercise|a walk.
I noticed Ellen DeGeneres is assertive, like that other people are, and she doesn't let them be.
I noticed Ellen DeGeneres is assertive, like that other people are, and she doesn't let them be.
Problem
So, all these good people are getting mad at me and ruining my life and not wanting to admit stuff and not letting me have fun with other people. Probably mimicking me and saying they're just kidding. Maybe, I just have to take it as a joke and not really care. It's too bad because I was really hoping to get attention from them and not be like reprimanded for it. :|
Being reprimanded is okay, but in some ways, it's not the ideal of what would have happened, though you have to accept the good "things"
Being reprimanded is okay, but in some ways, it's not the ideal of what would have happened, though you have to accept the good "things"
Problem
What do you think of Ellen DeGeneres reacting positively that I deserve something bad for something I did?
Problem
I guess Ellen DeGeneres is the new Tim Burton, but you can't have her.
The big argument was that people happened to watch Tim Burton as young kids. I didn't even know they were that young.
The big argument was that people happened to watch Tim Burton as young kids. I didn't even know they were that young.
Problem
What is Ellen DeGeneres's problem? Why can't I think of something and not have it happen to me? People make fun of me, too. That's not supposed to "have" to happen.
Problem
STOP INSULTING ME WITH THE TIMING OF HOW YOU LOAD THE COMPUTER. THEY CALLED SOMEONE'S FOOT VIETNAM.
Also, they think Ellen DeGeneres is insulting me for fun. It's really annoying. I'm not gonna think about that.
Also, stop poking at my dad because you also gave my mom glasses.
Ellen DeGeneres keeps making me feel weird and like I shouldn't be cool.
Also, they think Ellen DeGeneres is insulting me for fun. It's really annoying. I'm not gonna think about that.
Also, stop poking at my dad because you also gave my mom glasses.
Ellen DeGeneres keeps making me feel weird and like I shouldn't be cool.
Dreams
Right now, I'm thinking of the 2nd 1. I guess I'll go into a part where someone was kinda in it, Ellen DeGeneres, but I was trying to imagine someone carrying me and someone putting their hand around me. So, 1st, I imagined like for awhile sometime that someone was carrying me at my butt to their hip. Stuff like that, like how my legs were actually short and my torso was shorter, something I never thought about, like thought about about nor maybe totally noticed. Then I imagined I was walking and a someone I was able to make up between 3 people was putting her arm around me to like my elbow for awhile, was a but sappy and then their other hand like over the front of me in places. At 1 point, I was even imagining in a prior dream, that I was being rubbed but stopped, maybe my stomach. I'm not sure why, but I liked to lie in bed and feather over my legs in my sleep. So, in the 2nd dream, I was like in a dangerous land of like Pokémon. We went into a nursing station with girls at a desk working and someone showed me, put a needle in my hand to let me feel it was fun, like it made my hand feel caring. Then, they did it in another way again maybe in the other hand. I contended, thinking, I had other interests, rather than other thoughts that passed me. It had become dangerous to press against glass. There was a little zebra, and there were some scary crocodilians. 1 was just with a little fence of rocks on a platform, and it was jutting out, wanting to jump down. I told them the zebra was in danger. A more boyish character girl came out with a little tubular rifle and shot out like a bomb bullet and supposedly accidentally hit the zebra, who turned into in some communication a human, like walking with sneakers, like it had dressed up, and its elbow was hit. Before, I saw a painting with some lady artists in a little tent booth doing art of pinkish zebras and then dolphins with pink tints and a lady would make like a smaller 1 for $10. I think the big 1 I looked at of dolphins was like $78 or maybe $48 but I think more like $80. Then, I was like in a dance hall going around. I guess I was lying down. Then, I got up with 2 tall, more big girls, from the New Orleans area. I was thinking of my hight, meditating on it. It was what it was, 5'1" to 5'4", more short then and kinda made fun of as people seemed to seep in their sleeping bags. I was being judged, like it was a phantasmagoria with like drums beating in the back, too. So, I stretched up and found ooh 5'5" ... 5'6"? So, I went up to a lady in dark lying on the floor on a stage in front with a headband I was twirling around, after a girl from that area who did a lot of dance did something with me. I said, look, I'm 5'6", or something like that. The person was like good. Oh yes, that was Ellen DeGeneres, but it didn't look much like her. However, I could still dip to 5'1", and I wasn't sure what to do ... as I lay down with a girl, before, I guess, a big girl, I was thinking well I'm still 11, not sure why, so that's why I'm 5'1", which I'm supposed to not be that big, still. So, before that, we were like traveling, and there was this shower and I was stimulating myself a few times like across the floor. I was thinking of how Ellen DeGeneres was stimulated "in the same way." Some people were like coming. It was like a bath stall or hotel. So, I was stimulating myself not just in that way. At 1 point, my dad came in and I was holding a towel, and I left. Then, this was before the other dream, like we were on a ledge, and my dad was like this is a city, and I almost fell off a cliff corner of sand. I don't remember what happened next, but it was dangerous. There was a dream before this 1, too. Now, I remember, also, at the nursing station, they were gonna give people shots but I guess not me for safety like in a physical defense somehow. My mom asked if it would explode. The nurse inserted a shot into her arm, and a long tube of blood filled and a bubble popped at the end. I spent quite awhile wanting to feel like someone was carrying me, I guess been latching onto how I used to beg my mom to carry me when I was 2 and 3. I guess it was like feeding birds trying to get that feeling. Like, sometimes, I had to often base it more on seeing something, though. I saw it like in pieces, of course, in a complex way, that I probably use, often. In music, though, I tend to also hear things in pieces, whereas, before, I didn't and was always very bewildered, until maybe a specific song seeped in or I had listened to too much, though I don't remember the songs specifically to their experiences. I wish I remembered more. I saved a more happy scene for my Twitter background, a cartoon. It was kinda dangerous and complicated. I had about 5 folders, and some were serious, like rocky people. Also, lately, I've been more stung to not experience a sorta rebuttle of feelings, from watching Ellen DeGeneres, and am thinking something is wrong. I mean, just more today, I thought that. I wish I wouldn't have to think something the opposite of what I'm feeling when I'm embarrassed, though. I just measured myself, too, and I'm, roughly up to 5'5", meaning the average juts there when I stretch my heels down.
Doing Stuff
I ironed my pants from about a week ago? I called Ginny 2 or 3 more times and am recording it on my camera. I need to do my nails. I was gonna go out but maybe not. Maybe see if I can get a strawberry smoothie at a Mickey D's.
I'm also washing my clothes.
The thing is my alarm isn't waking me up, isn't very big. I prefer to wear earplugs to bed, as well. I think I slept a lot, recently, so maybe I need to be up and doing something, like cleaning my room but, unfortunately, think I need a break, possibly will lie down.
I'm also washing my clothes.
The thing is my alarm isn't waking me up, isn't very big. I prefer to wear earplugs to bed, as well. I think I slept a lot, recently, so maybe I need to be up and doing something, like cleaning my room but, unfortunately, think I need a break, possibly will lie down.
Like
Jack Marks Glad you're safely back home Orlagh. Wishing your
family a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
about an hour ago
http://www.facebook.com/jack.marks2
Jack Marks Glad you're safely back home Orlagh. Wishing your
family a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
about an hour ago
http://www.facebook.com/jack.marks2
College
I see Ginny Kopf is teaching 3 classes at Valencia in the Spring, but I need help to get a loan for college if I go and am not sure if my account works. Well, the 7th, I can technically make it. The voice class is closed. :{ She teaches it somewhere else on Sundays. Won't people know where I am, if I go? I post online. It would be fun to go to a group class, though. I used to not even think about it when I posted about ballet because I'm not like in eminent danger, necessarily, and must live my life, wherever I am, though I don't think anyone at the easy|maybe "bringing back" classes for adults would hurt me. I mean, people could see me post about something famous a lot, track me down, and attack people I know. My mom didn't describe the car accidents she was in. Also, I post to Ginny, anyway, and you can see where she is. She's probably not the only one in my life you'd find, and she's not really in my life other than meeting her online and posting on her site, not having talked to her yet I mean anyway. Let's see, Acting I, which I was gonna take at Seminole or she's also doing an Improvisation class with no Prerequisites. I didn't take Talented Theater but 1 year of high school, and my local theater didn't teach much. I might ruin the class. I probably won't elude to where I am if I go. I might not even sign up for 1 on time. I can try. I think my hold was lifted for this semester, so I will probably sign up, unless I chose not to sign up for it.
So, I'm contacting the college, but it never answers. Something happened, and it's not about me.
I just called her and left a fairly long message. I told her not to call me but left my number, assuming she may be sleeping. I connected with her well and don't really know why. She left a long message in different languages and accents but nothing like what I'm used to in the New Orleans area.
Also, her Improvisation class is Closed but not Full, didn't say so when I signed up. So, I might take Acting I. '8I The voice class, which is shorter I remember.., is full. She teaches it in the community, as well. I could afford it but would prefer to take out a college loan. I'm glad the class is full, but I don't know why Acting I still has space.
So, I noticed, when I left the message, that my voice was kinda liquidy, for some reason, and thinning. :, Huh.
It's funny I didn't think of bad thoughts.
So, I'm contacting the college, but it never answers. Something happened, and it's not about me.
I just called her and left a fairly long message. I told her not to call me but left my number, assuming she may be sleeping. I connected with her well and don't really know why. She left a long message in different languages and accents but nothing like what I'm used to in the New Orleans area.
Also, her Improvisation class is Closed but not Full, didn't say so when I signed up. So, I might take Acting I. '8I The voice class, which is shorter I remember.., is full. She teaches it in the community, as well. I could afford it but would prefer to take out a college loan. I'm glad the class is full, but I don't know why Acting I still has space.
So, I noticed, when I left the message, that my voice was kinda liquidy, for some reason, and thinning. :, Huh.
It's funny I didn't think of bad thoughts.
Facebook Posts
This is from the other day.
Michael Mckeithan Cute
http://www.facebook.com/michael.mckeithan.1
Like
Hiding?
I wonder what will happen to that cat. It already looks like it's in front of lights.
Like (from before)
Bethanie Adams Callis For anyone looking to work from
home.......Lets be honest, times are hard, and all you want to do is make extra money. I can help you do that! Earn 90$ a person, no buying a packet, selling anything, or shipping anything. No start up cost or fees. All I ask is that you ADD ME AS A FRIEND AND SEND ME A MESSAGE, and give me the chance to show you how, I, a stay at home mom of 3, can make this the beginning of a stress free Holiday. Serious inquiries only, please dont waste both of our time. Must live in the US, UK, &/or Canada.
http://www.facebook.com/bethanie.adamscallis
Doug Zeitz ok then
http://www.facebook.com/doug.zeitz.5
Vic Gon Liked and Shared... <3
http://www.facebook.com/VicGon69
Bethanie Adams Callis For anyone looking to work from
home.......Lets be honest, times are hard, and all you want to do is make extra money. I can help you do that! Earn 90$ a person, no buying a packet, selling anything, or shipping anything. No start up cost or fees. All I ask is that you ADD ME AS A FRIEND AND SEND ME A MESSAGE, and give me the chance to show you how, I, a stay at home mom of 3, can make this the beginning of a stress free Holiday. Serious inquiries only, please dont waste both of our time. Must live in the US, UK, &/or Canada.
http://www.facebook.com/bethanie.adamscallis
Liz Manning Thank you Ellen. I thought that you had taped
Monday's show before you knew of the tragedy. It looked hard for you. As much as I don't want to, I need to stop watching the news and reading the internet. I have gotten to the point where I can tell you their names and a bit about the person when I see their pictures. So many people from around the world are praying for this community. The woman with glass ball ornament with everyone's name inside was inspiring and the Helping Hands Project should let the town know that we are all here to reach out and lend a hand. Thank you for your beautiful show. From one family member to another, have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
http://www.facebook.com/liz.manning2
Michael Mckeithan Cute
http://www.facebook.com/michael.mckeithan.1
Like
Hiding?
I wonder what will happen to that cat. It already looks like it's in front of lights.
Like (from before)
Bethanie Adams Callis For anyone looking to work from
home.......Lets be honest, times are hard, and all you want to do is make extra money. I can help you do that! Earn 90$ a person, no buying a packet, selling anything, or shipping anything. No start up cost or fees. All I ask is that you ADD ME AS A FRIEND AND SEND ME A MESSAGE, and give me the chance to show you how, I, a stay at home mom of 3, can make this the beginning of a stress free Holiday. Serious inquiries only, please dont waste both of our time. Must live in the US, UK, &/or Canada.
http://www.facebook.com/bethanie.adamscallis
Doug Zeitz ok then
http://www.facebook.com/doug.zeitz.5
Vic Gon Liked and Shared... <3
http://www.facebook.com/VicGon69
Bethanie Adams Callis For anyone looking to work from
home.......Lets be honest, times are hard, and all you want to do is make extra money. I can help you do that! Earn 90$ a person, no buying a packet, selling anything, or shipping anything. No start up cost or fees. All I ask is that you ADD ME AS A FRIEND AND SEND ME A MESSAGE, and give me the chance to show you how, I, a stay at home mom of 3, can make this the beginning of a stress free Holiday. Serious inquiries only, please dont waste both of our time. Must live in the US, UK, &/or Canada.
http://www.facebook.com/bethanie.adamscallis
Liz Manning Thank you Ellen. I thought that you had taped
Monday's show before you knew of the tragedy. It looked hard for you. As much as I don't want to, I need to stop watching the news and reading the internet. I have gotten to the point where I can tell you their names and a bit about the person when I see their pictures. So many people from around the world are praying for this community. The woman with glass ball ornament with everyone's name inside was inspiring and the Helping Hands Project should let the town know that we are all here to reach out and lend a hand. Thank you for your beautiful show. From one family member to another, have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
http://www.facebook.com/liz.manning2
I feel alive
I feel alive like in the New Orleans area but not as weighted down when I got busy. Maybe, I need to ask my dad for money and use my allowance of $190 to get food out at night for hm ... well, the grocery store probably sells grapefruit juice, so possibly $5 a night. Maybe, I'll tire of getting a dessert, but possibly not, and a cold grapefruit juice is nice, now. So, that's $9. At a fast food restaurant, I'd spend maybe around $7. That's not bad, $224 a month. Hopefully, I'll start cooking soon, though. I wanted to get some sweaters at Wal-Mart but don't have to and will probably see new clothes later, maybe even shouldn't have thought I needed that other shirt, not sure if I'll buy more later though.
What to Do
What should I do, now? Clean my room? Take a shower? Iron and do laundry? Watch "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" if it recorded on the new TV thing? Plan my shopping and money?
Problem
Why do you keep spouting lies at me, and what about the connotation of the word lies floats your fancy? You don't have anything to say. What about food? What am I supposed to do? My dad eats out with me but won't bring it home.
So, I get to sit here hours a day plowing through shit?
So, I get to sit here hours a day plowing through shit?
Blog Post Fail
Here I Go
Cold, even in tights.
@ 1:31 P.M.
I attached a picture I'm loading to Flickr soon.
Cold, even in tights.
@ 1:31 P.M.
I attached a picture I'm loading to Flickr soon.
Problem
My eyes kinda feel meshy, like they're going out, with pressure. Kinda like fuzzy, fading. I have a feeling I need a rest from 711. It's so hard to come by food. My dad doesn't seem to want to bring me home good restaurant food.
Problems
Why do people overreact to me? My life is just a waste of their pollution.
Let's see, end of high school, beginning of college, I found it necessary to be highly active. I wanted to slow down but for some reason got involved again.
Then, my life turned into an experiment, and I really didn't like it but enjoyed it and knew it was just something that was possible that was already done. It just elicited such deep emotions. Like, I saw things and they were supposed to mean something symbolically. It was very romantic, chosing what I did, but people actually felt hatred toward me, a lot, essentially.
So, then, it was hard to study and focus, and I was kicked out of my major, not because my life turned into an experiment. I think it's because I didn't memorize my major instrument piece, but we had to keep going to the library to listen to music with an extra course added that semester, which actually was a big deal, I think. So, I wasn't allowed to like meditate on how happy I was in my major in college in music, it felt, but I Was supposed to sing but ended up scratching off feelings on paper thinking I was being watched and thinking maybe sometimes suddenly I noticed little clicks. I was also kicked out of Voice and Music Education. So, I became stressed, for some reason and probably didn't do a whole lot of singing. So, I couldn't do well in the course away from home over the summer, a full class in a week, because it was hard to get food and because of the experiment. So, then, I was gonna start school again, but then the hurricane hit, and we moved. My dad was gonna move away, but we all moved in with him. I went up north, and I couldn't even get my clothes because the bus didn't come and I got cold and failed and didn't know what to do. After the muscles in my back became limp, though I felt it would get better for some reason, I stopped going to class and didn't even know why. I realized that I should have Withdrawn or something but forget what it was. I just wanted the opportunity and wanted to ask to catch up, like at my regular college. Anyway, so, being in an experiment but not being told and told my life was miserable and it would finally be ideal, pretty much I had no responsibility. I also heard other-worldly things and sometimes other interesting things and believed the world wasn't real, thinking ooh I'd be in trouble if I said that. I didn't tell anyone for like at least 4 or 5 years. So, I came home and suddenly felt very annoyed after a time, by noise. I went back to my old school and became sensitive to noise and couldn't stand it and had to come home in the end. Well, the 1st semester there were workers outside each day. I felt as though I were expected to stay up and put in extra time. The next semester, I heard other-worldly clicks in my ear that made me want to commit suicide or thatmade me feel so bad I would do something of that nature. I didn't literally want to but didn't know what to do about it. I even heard things and thought of things like images and stuff in my dorm room. They didn't sound like real sounds. I was alone but constantly miserable. I was alone much of the semester before in a joint dorm, hoping to succeed. I found that nothing was on the tests, though. The only classes I succeeded in in the university and conservatory were most of the music classes, most of the honors classes, and the philosophy classes, though I didn't really make it any of the 2 post-hurricane semesters. It was neat, though, the way things changed, 2005. So, I thought I'd dabble in 1 last semster, I guess, and did Pre-Med for Psychiatry. I couldn't succeed in Chemistry, and I had an Asian Biology teacher who spat a lecture. I enjoyed the Chemistry and Physics labs. I think I was actually young in Physics but not the lab. I audited Chemistry II in high school. So, I came back and did college online and my friends came over and I cooked for them and was getting out of the shower, tired. I ended up failing, not withdrawing for a very weird reason, like I was totally hypnotized. Now, I am allowed to do grade forgiveness, though. My last college withdrew the grades, which I had talked about before, mainly getting back in my major there, since it was such a prestigious College of Music. It was also the Jesuit order of the Catholic religion. I'm not sure what I'd do at another school, really, but this 1 also has a ballet minor and it was advertized to my friends, who goof off, in another state. So, then, I also felt tempted to go online, and I kinda messed up my 1st impression and just sat there wasting time, not even thinking to get a blog. My dad even got mad when I wanted to go to college partly on campus, and I quit. I was only in 4 courses, I think. So, I felt tortured in my room, needless to say, and I kept e-mailing people who just didn't say anything. 1 of them suddenly got mad and said I was being mean, talking about her and the other girl, who I was each friends with a long time ago. Well, our 6th grades split and we got new people, even many people from the area. It was Catholic and of the oldest parish in the U.S. I wasn't in their class. They didn't talk to me, anymore. It's funny, I don't think they talked to anyone else in my class, but they still talked to each other and roomed. They also talked to a girl I used to talk to to make feel better. She was even the roommate of the other girl. I think she mentioned how she was Spanish, but she had a German foreign exchange student. So, then, I was talking to the ballet teacher's daughter, and she was also a slow e-mailer. She was highly suggestive, like another girl I knew, and for a certain reason because it was clearly a racist dodge, though I guess she would speak to me later, I just got really mad. I had written them really long notes, before. It was detailed, nothing like, "you nigger" nor any threats. I forgot soon after. These things sorta caused I guess me to kinda change I guess and it became a big deal, it seemed, to anyone who knew.
So, then, we moved, and I got store cards and spent money. Then, my parents acted even more suggestive, and it was really annoying. This 1 time, I was mad at racism and hit my wall, though it seemed very like civil though loud enough for my family to hear. My mom changed, and I went to a spa lady, not having left the house before, except to take walks after awhile. It like disconnected things in my forehead I felt connecting. Then, I thought, in the experiment, because of the spa lady acting like she was hypnotizing me that by others and the signs of the people in the experiment that I was to at the signal or by their command or suggestion call someone the n word. Then, it was made a big deal over, as though I meant it, and it's plagued my whole life since December 2009, so that's 3 years now. My dad acted differently. I went to the mental hospital, finally, which was bad, as well. Funny thing is I wanted to eat better before but didn't make it, like a complication. Even before that, I wanted to live on baby food and milk formula, but my parents made a hissy. I don't believe I got anything else. I was told to even work, but I was really tired. I wouldn't be able to stand it, and people are really racist toward me. That's unfair.
Let's see, end of high school, beginning of college, I found it necessary to be highly active. I wanted to slow down but for some reason got involved again.
Then, my life turned into an experiment, and I really didn't like it but enjoyed it and knew it was just something that was possible that was already done. It just elicited such deep emotions. Like, I saw things and they were supposed to mean something symbolically. It was very romantic, chosing what I did, but people actually felt hatred toward me, a lot, essentially.
So, then, it was hard to study and focus, and I was kicked out of my major, not because my life turned into an experiment. I think it's because I didn't memorize my major instrument piece, but we had to keep going to the library to listen to music with an extra course added that semester, which actually was a big deal, I think. So, I wasn't allowed to like meditate on how happy I was in my major in college in music, it felt, but I Was supposed to sing but ended up scratching off feelings on paper thinking I was being watched and thinking maybe sometimes suddenly I noticed little clicks. I was also kicked out of Voice and Music Education. So, I became stressed, for some reason and probably didn't do a whole lot of singing. So, I couldn't do well in the course away from home over the summer, a full class in a week, because it was hard to get food and because of the experiment. So, then, I was gonna start school again, but then the hurricane hit, and we moved. My dad was gonna move away, but we all moved in with him. I went up north, and I couldn't even get my clothes because the bus didn't come and I got cold and failed and didn't know what to do. After the muscles in my back became limp, though I felt it would get better for some reason, I stopped going to class and didn't even know why. I realized that I should have Withdrawn or something but forget what it was. I just wanted the opportunity and wanted to ask to catch up, like at my regular college. Anyway, so, being in an experiment but not being told and told my life was miserable and it would finally be ideal, pretty much I had no responsibility. I also heard other-worldly things and sometimes other interesting things and believed the world wasn't real, thinking ooh I'd be in trouble if I said that. I didn't tell anyone for like at least 4 or 5 years. So, I came home and suddenly felt very annoyed after a time, by noise. I went back to my old school and became sensitive to noise and couldn't stand it and had to come home in the end. Well, the 1st semester there were workers outside each day. I felt as though I were expected to stay up and put in extra time. The next semester, I heard other-worldly clicks in my ear that made me want to commit suicide or thatmade me feel so bad I would do something of that nature. I didn't literally want to but didn't know what to do about it. I even heard things and thought of things like images and stuff in my dorm room. They didn't sound like real sounds. I was alone but constantly miserable. I was alone much of the semester before in a joint dorm, hoping to succeed. I found that nothing was on the tests, though. The only classes I succeeded in in the university and conservatory were most of the music classes, most of the honors classes, and the philosophy classes, though I didn't really make it any of the 2 post-hurricane semesters. It was neat, though, the way things changed, 2005. So, I thought I'd dabble in 1 last semster, I guess, and did Pre-Med for Psychiatry. I couldn't succeed in Chemistry, and I had an Asian Biology teacher who spat a lecture. I enjoyed the Chemistry and Physics labs. I think I was actually young in Physics but not the lab. I audited Chemistry II in high school. So, I came back and did college online and my friends came over and I cooked for them and was getting out of the shower, tired. I ended up failing, not withdrawing for a very weird reason, like I was totally hypnotized. Now, I am allowed to do grade forgiveness, though. My last college withdrew the grades, which I had talked about before, mainly getting back in my major there, since it was such a prestigious College of Music. It was also the Jesuit order of the Catholic religion. I'm not sure what I'd do at another school, really, but this 1 also has a ballet minor and it was advertized to my friends, who goof off, in another state. So, then, I also felt tempted to go online, and I kinda messed up my 1st impression and just sat there wasting time, not even thinking to get a blog. My dad even got mad when I wanted to go to college partly on campus, and I quit. I was only in 4 courses, I think. So, I felt tortured in my room, needless to say, and I kept e-mailing people who just didn't say anything. 1 of them suddenly got mad and said I was being mean, talking about her and the other girl, who I was each friends with a long time ago. Well, our 6th grades split and we got new people, even many people from the area. It was Catholic and of the oldest parish in the U.S. I wasn't in their class. They didn't talk to me, anymore. It's funny, I don't think they talked to anyone else in my class, but they still talked to each other and roomed. They also talked to a girl I used to talk to to make feel better. She was even the roommate of the other girl. I think she mentioned how she was Spanish, but she had a German foreign exchange student. So, then, I was talking to the ballet teacher's daughter, and she was also a slow e-mailer. She was highly suggestive, like another girl I knew, and for a certain reason because it was clearly a racist dodge, though I guess she would speak to me later, I just got really mad. I had written them really long notes, before. It was detailed, nothing like, "you nigger" nor any threats. I forgot soon after. These things sorta caused I guess me to kinda change I guess and it became a big deal, it seemed, to anyone who knew.
So, then, we moved, and I got store cards and spent money. Then, my parents acted even more suggestive, and it was really annoying. This 1 time, I was mad at racism and hit my wall, though it seemed very like civil though loud enough for my family to hear. My mom changed, and I went to a spa lady, not having left the house before, except to take walks after awhile. It like disconnected things in my forehead I felt connecting. Then, I thought, in the experiment, because of the spa lady acting like she was hypnotizing me that by others and the signs of the people in the experiment that I was to at the signal or by their command or suggestion call someone the n word. Then, it was made a big deal over, as though I meant it, and it's plagued my whole life since December 2009, so that's 3 years now. My dad acted differently. I went to the mental hospital, finally, which was bad, as well. Funny thing is I wanted to eat better before but didn't make it, like a complication. Even before that, I wanted to live on baby food and milk formula, but my parents made a hissy. I don't believe I got anything else. I was told to even work, but I was really tired. I wouldn't be able to stand it, and people are really racist toward me. That's unfair.
Just Got Back
I had a sub, grapefruit juice, and 2 thick Reeses, which were good.
I'm feeling kinda tired, plasticy, need a shower.. probably should to to bed. :( I keep getting like stopped by these noises I here, even like when I'm changing. So, I guess, like, I sleep for, what, sometimes 8-12 hours? Then, an hour probably gets wasted and I spend most of my blogging time on Problems. Then, there's an hour I watch "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" and I spend some time Networking. I don't even cook. What does this say about me? I used to have more time. So, I spend time being interrupted every so often. This is quite a hiatus, the reaction in 2005 to Johnny Depp and Tim Burton, something no one talks about.
I'm feeling kinda tired, plasticy, need a shower.. probably should to to bed. :( I keep getting like stopped by these noises I here, even like when I'm changing. So, I guess, like, I sleep for, what, sometimes 8-12 hours? Then, an hour probably gets wasted and I spend most of my blogging time on Problems. Then, there's an hour I watch "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" and I spend some time Networking. I don't even cook. What does this say about me? I used to have more time. So, I spend time being interrupted every so often. This is quite a hiatus, the reaction in 2005 to Johnny Depp and Tim Burton, something no one talks about.
Problem
What is the problem? Do people, like Ellen DeGeneres, need to stop each time you think of something tacky, like the way people are in general, when it doesn't really come up all that often. That is gay! I mean, I can't say anything without being knocked out like I'm the only one without a point.
Problem
Why when I make a point in some hard situation because like anything that's worth it is hard, do people then suggest something like that well it's not right and it's not like fully okay?
The reason was because of race, the point itself. I think I've asked questions before that haven't been answered. I should probably leave them up, somewhere. I did answer some of it. I think people just are out to make me feel bad.
The reason was because of race, the point itself. I think I've asked questions before that haven't been answered. I should probably leave them up, somewhere. I did answer some of it. I think people just are out to make me feel bad.
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