nu blog

Edit

I edited the "What I'm Doing" post, fixed the paragraph and added a definition.

Ah!

I just finished with the food and lots of laundry, gonna get up and use the bathroom again in awhile I guess.  Gonna make a new Blogger and look up Christmas Facebook banners for Christmas.  I have more dishes in my room to bring to the kitchen.  I just sneezed.  I took my vitamins and just found I need 2 Princess vitamins a day, for adults or kids.

Laundry

I'm also doing the 2nd wash for the towels and and washing my bedding since I went out last night and slept in my bed without a shower-bath, twice.

My food is done cooking, and I'm waiting for it to cool.

I found "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" is having reruns as of a certain day, yesterday or today, have to see when it starts again, assume at least a week after the New Year.  Hope I get in that acting class, but I have a feeling I won't.  It seems the community college, especially in the arts, is not for adults, even.  I was recommended into dance at a ballet school there at age 20, 21.

I have to refill my soap and wash my glasses.  They're dusty.  I was thinking of getting my own soaps and think I will.

Parents

Do you think you should have to get along with each parent in ways you don't like, say your mom has certain strengths your dad doesn't or your dad has certain weaknesses your mom doesn't, other than in racial placement?

What I'm Doing

I had 2 pieces of French bread pizza and grapefruit juice and water.

I'm cooking a pretty big piece of beef and spinach and mushrooms I found in the refrigerator, which is what I liked to buy and my mom got for me.

I'm also cooking eggs to make egg salad sandwich.

My grandma gave us the Christmas candy and several gingerbread cookies.  I had a buckeye, a piece of peanut butter fudge (no chocolate, I think,) and one of the cookies with marshmallows, which I best liked,for once.  I was wondering in New Orleans to me it seemed the thing was to be like spicy and of the old-fashioned based heritage that's become vintage and takes over the civilization, which is very rather sedentary.  I guess moving can be a big deal.  So, I kinda grew up more strict and modern in a sense, not about baking cookies and not really making any fudge.  It's probably because my mom's not American and something else.  My dad liked things like peanut butter cookies.  His dad drank a lot so probably wasn't a cookie guy, not from a farm and had a college degree to be a funeral director who did everything, I think.  I know he liked Edgar Allan Poe and that my dad has read lots of other like science fiction type philosophy seeming themed interest books.  As far as I know, his dad is all white, but I found that most people have Jewish last names from the Germany area.  It seems like a big deal that my grandma's mom wasn't indian.  She wasn't even always sure she was indian.  Supposedly, the records burned down in a building.

So, I'm gonna watch "The Ellen DeGeneres Show."  I have 3 episodes to catch up on.  I was thinking of watching today's 1st, in case I don't get to the day before, I guess, not sure which is better, this time.  The other 1 I don't have recorded because we got a new TV thing.  So, I should watch the videos online and think I happened to see 1 or 2 from her Twitter.

Food

What should I do?  My dad won't bring me home fancy restaurant food, like Olive Garden or Applebee's.  Also, when I went out to eat with him at Perkins, he made me stimulated or aroused but not feel like a tingly feeling in my stomach and tried associating it with a waitress.  He also believes if an idea ticks that it's, like, absolutely something true.  I haven't eaten at a fancy restaurant in a long time.  I've been eating alone, got tired of soup and Tyson's chicken strips.  I've been getting subs and fast food.  At home, I have my beef and cooked greens.  I don't like peppers, onions, tomatos, etc.  I won't eat them, unless they were chopped up into tiny bits and mixed with bread or something like that.  I even stopped putting spice on it.  My parents eat weirdly, weird simple Asian-based food that is kinda unhealthy and not very tasty or some fancy fix-up with sorta just more hot spices and maybe some kinda juicy sauce.  I never eat with them, anymore.  They usually just have chicken and often have rice.  I started eating like this because I had such a good time at Cracker Barrel.  Once, my dad was rude to me and I got mad.  It sounded like 1 guy suddenly said, "nigger."  I was getting tired of just Olive Garden and Cracker Barrel.

So, it sounds like some people want to know if I liked what my mom cooked when I was little, when she's Asian and the good stuff isn't sold here.  I did eat things like Pizza Lunchables, maybe twice a week, funny on top of pizza on Fridays at that school.  My mom didn't like engage me in picking out food at the grocery store, and I learned what people at a long time ago in the U.S.  I can't believe how you|anyone would actually went|go into what my dad ate.  Yea, he's from a farming area, but they don't eat the kind of stuff you eat in the West|Midwest.  Their food seems thin.  I guess moving to the New Orleans area, my appetite increased.  It's funny, though, his family is from Northwestern Pennsylvania.  I think that my grandma has always made good candy, Buckeyes, chocolate fudge, peanut butter fudge, these things of a compilation with marshmallows like fudgy cookies, and oatmeal cookies, which lots of people have made.  It is about the best I've tasted, had a good homemade taste.  Speaking of my grandma, it seems people say that I'm not good as a suggestion but never say why and the reason is never clear.  My parents think I don't have total attitude control and that it doesn't matter if people are mean to me.  I don't really know what it's like to get mad at other people having your food.  I think Italy has good ice cream shops.  In Florida, I guess the food is kinda made to be satisfying yet trashy in a lot of ways but not like infested with maggots.  I think Ellen DeGeneres gets mad at me for growing up in Southeastern and Northeastern Florida until I turned 12 because I'm really tight, realy tightly built and compact, in a way that is not necessary but sorta the arsenal I have in life, unnecessary in that my life isn't complete.  That may not make sense, but you may not really know.  I mean, if you did, you could tell me.  I can't really fix things like that that sound good.  Well, the restaurants are a bit, er, ... what's the word ... vengeful.  I guess the food is fine at the fancy restaurants.

Part of the thing is I thought it'd be cool "not to cook."

New Facebook Friend

Facebook

Edit

I added the Dad tag to my last post.

Problem

My dad is really bad, really mean, like in a hidden way, thinks it's okay for certain reasons, 1st seeing Johnny Depp in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory directed by Tim Burton, then me not being able to do well in college partly because my life became an experiment and no one was direct with me, like it was to balance the situation.  Then, I used store cards and thought in the experiment I was supposed to call someone the n word.

The Mall

My dad went to the mall and I think was trying to spread more hypnosis on how to treat me.  Isn't it sick how my dad, mom, and other relatives do that?

Dream

I was tired and don't remember all of it.  Anyway, I remember I was in bed, and I felt people on the sides of me.  I think my arms were being like held, and it felt good, kinda like serious, kinda fuzzy, not necessarily 2 physical hands but not just a force.  I was in a hotel.  I was imagining a series of things happening, I think sometimes with Ellen DeGeneres.  So, I was in the bed, which felt like a fold-out couch bed, with white sheets.  My ears were being pinched, and they couldn't pinch them.  They were being pierced.  This lated awhile but not too too long.  Then, I said something about how I shaved my face.  It as Anne Hathaway.  I said there was hair on my mustache, which I don't know if there is.  She buzzed it, and it just felt good, didn't feel much.  Then, she quickly zipped up my nostrels and I yelled out upset.  Then, a dark shadow of Ellen DeGeneres quickly bent over and hugged me from my head.  It gave me a feeling.  It was for awhile but not very realistic and not the best feeling.  Then, for a long time, the figure massaged the middle of the base limbs of my arms.  Sometimes, I went out it seemed but not just like that, some reason I think.  Sometimes, I think of her roots, and now she was imposing on me the thoughts of her own dad.  Like, she was connecting it to her in my dream.  This lasted so long, the massaging of my arms, which was probably something I was trying to feel and decided to dream about it.  I think I finally got up.  It was a long time, and I thought it was still about her.  Anyway, my cousin had been there.  I saw her.  My face looked different, supposedly influenced from being Jewish.  It had kinda a porcelain look, with more rounded eyes rather than like stretched out round eyes.  My cousin like emitted "Chinese."  She was a little smaller, looked a bit like me when I was younger, like this picture of me when I'm 2-3 up north but not much.  So, I sat with her and some interesting things happened.  Then, it turned out that my aunt's husband's son and some other boys who looked like him were really Ellen DeGeneres at 1 point I think when I was awake, though I don't remember what it really was.  It was like she came back or like an idea of Olivia Newton-John, in the end.  So, we were in a car, and it was like someone was driving and it was hard, and then someone like Olivia Newton-John drove.  I don't remember what was going on, but it's not as interesting as me lying down in the dark.

P1

Someone I Know

My therapist is from Miami and is part Italian.

A Common Notion

A common notion is that people who are born somewhere have the right to say they're from there, if they grow up there until they're a mature age, like 8 or 9 or 10.  It's more like a choice.  It's too bad people don't have a choice if they more there after like age 5, even a problem I guess for some who are younger moving to L.A., probably problems even if they were born after..

The Wealthy

I took a cruise in Fort Lauderdale and saw the mansions.  I'm guessing those people could some be from Florida, from there or Miami, probably.

So, I looked at a photo of a mansion in Key West by the ocean.  It had a pool with the lawn chairs set up.  Too bad people would just say oh well everyone can't live there, how were we supposed to know.  Guessing that family isn't from there.  I saw a black and white photo, too.  Guessing those people are ghosts, now.

My aunt's husband is from Miami, and I not too long ago found his parents are from Cleveland.  I don't know where he was born.  He has it together.  They go on vacations, a lot.  He became an army colonel.  He's pretty tall, an average size, drinks beer.

It seems like people with families from New Orleans.

Problem

So, Johnny Depp moved to Florida at 7, supposedly, and so did some people I knew, at least 2 but I think more.  I know someone else at 9.  I bunch them together, for some reason.  Well, it was a certain area of Florida, the oldest continuing city in the U.S.  The family who moved later aren't very substantial, anymore.  Guess they lost their appetite and their dad.  I knew she used to eat in her room at a young age.  Not very good food.  She had good breakfast.  I mean it was tasty but not to my liking.  I think for me they had fried chicken.  My mom made that a lot, for some reason, I mean got at the grocery store.  I remember someone who moved at 11 and probably more but people who moved schools.  I know someone who moved somewhere else at 15.  No one is doing well, in these places, like people from California.  I have a cousin, but I don't think I can count her because she's related to me.  Also, she's very different.  She's different in the same way as my brother, both about the same age, her a year younger, same month even.  I have the feeling my cousin held onto her mom being from Pennsylvania.  She does seem foreign but is accepted in the family, in that way.  In Orlando, there are more people open about growing up here.  I was surprised to see an old politician from here.  Well, I don't know about people from out-of-the-U.S.  I guess it's just that.  Still, there's something else special about being from a certain place.  There's my brother.  For some reason, it seems worse for him, too.  Maybe it's also his birth year.  You can guess that Latinos are known to preserve their culture, though they seem to infiltrate, the rich ones or the skinny ones with straight hair.

Problem

My dad seems to have gotten quite mad, forgot what he said.  Not really.  He went to see my therapist, and I stayed home.  I think she talked to him about my blog.  I already invited him to go comment.  I'm supposed to usher him to it or whatever.  He seems to be sorta boastful or what's the word, puffing out his chest, proud of his mom's antics after the n word thing, like thinking "her son" is important and he needs to hurt me since my life is getting better.

Also, why is Tim Burton such a scardy cat?  I thought cool people from L.A. were stronger.  That is so suggestive, you know?  I read, also, though, that his parents came from Canada.  You have to watch out for people from Canada and Latin America.  Sometimes, people think this of Australia or maybe like definitely the Filipins.. they went on rattled on about how it was like I forget no unreal and 3rd world.

It was a safehouse for Hispanics, I guess mixed people.  Lots of mixed people are in Australia, Texas, and L.A. and California.  NYC.  I know of at least 1 more white Asian in NYC.

I'm upset because my dad seems upset that people from Florida never liked him.  He's bad.  He treated me badly for things I did.  It wasn't anything like concrete nor blunt nor like very bad very often you'd concur from me, in the end.  It seems like my relationship with Florida went down the drain.  So, what do you think about Elle Fanning living in L.A.?  It's a safehouse for actors.  I don't know if I wanna count her, anymore.  She moved at age 1 and seems conceited about Georgian heritage but despises it just to think it's cool and now looks kinda sad.  Maybe, she'll get better.  I think she's trying to look different and has been going through too many changes.

Problem

Did you notice Ellen DeGeneres kinda holding in?  Someone is mad I didn't follow her on Twitter over the summer.  I don't know why I didn't feel invited.  =|

Also, I think Aunt 1 is antsy I switched blogs after I got mad, like that was the result, like a reward and not a change.  Most bad people get extra attention and things.

Problem With My Attitude?

I'm mad at my mom for getting in 2 car accidents that gave her an eye injury and gave her glasses.

When my dad comes, I'm no longer happy, I guess because of things he's done to me and other things he's supposedly caused.

My Mom in Glasses

She hasn't been eating breakfast.  I'm afraid that the reason was because I didn't eat a hearty breakfast growing up.  I got glasses at 9.  I think I had poptarts starting at 6.  Maybe, that's why.  Before, I remember having eggs and toast.  After, bagels with butter.  After, I think I made full meals.  In college, PBJ, from Whole Foods, or not sure what else, Odwalla bars, sometimes bought an Odwalla smoothie.  Odwalla chocolate bars are really good and so are other flavors or were to me.

I don't really see that someone has to have breakfast.  She eats a full supper and a scanty yet quite compiled lunch, it seems..  I was actually worried the whole time, in disbelief, these, however long, living here 7½ years.  I know she's done this since living in this place, 5 years.  I think I counted wrong.  Can't figure it out, for some reason.

I don't know what she used to have for breakfast but used to have tea for bead.

So, people shouldn't get mad at parents just because their kids don't eat breakfast.  I know that some people have their moms make them breakfast.  I didn't really wake up in time, and I think my mom gave me every meal.  I think I lost energy eating school lunch, the unhealthy kind because it tasted good.  Then, I started having more health-based lunches.  That's not why I couldn't read and succeed in a lecture, all of a sudden, much, at all.  I didn't even want the apple.  I wanted breakfast, might have had it once or twice.

New Videos of Me Singing

Have to put them in the playlist at some time.

YouTube

Back to Bed

Feeling heavy, had 2 French bread pizzas, feeling kinda like rough and chewy but with that feeling I may throw up.  I couldn't lay on my stomach, need to work out.

I don't want to go out tonight.  My mom doesn't want me to.  I may just go for a stroll nearby and look at the lights.

Feeling dirty, like I need a bath but more tired yet restless.  Too bad.  Not sure why.  Should I have gone to bed sooner?  I did get lost for about ½ hour.

Dream

It was kinda really dangerous in ways was dangerous from the start I mean.  I think Ellen DeGeneres was in it.  It was a dark place where you find rooms, like in a video game or fantasy.  I went to a class of Órla Fallon twice, with my family, going through text, and I conquered in the end.  She left, at 1 point.  I think I was onto her.  It was about me not following her in the summer having a baby and how I was seeing if following her would work out.  She had a low, resonating voice with a twanging, non-country, in it, like my harp's low notes got, around when her baby was born.  Then, there was a time when a little magical demon came that was magical and trying to murder us, I guess, though it wasn't like crystal clear as to what it was doing, probably jumping about, more like "the" villain.  It went behind a like cheap sorta carpeted, gray wall.  I guess it came back with 3 more people there.  It was like I was there with my mom and dad, didn't want to be with them in this dream, for the 1st time, felt a lot of irritation.  So, then, these 2 long, tall characters were like fighting it and got it in a box and were killing it with zaps, like saying it was Voldemort.  Then, I woke up.  It was interesting, nice I conquered and was gonna follow this person in the summer, follow in some way, like studying.

Racial Profile

People won't accept if you had a more trashy Chinese background or more quality European background.  My culture isn't as white but more, er, un-Asian.

Edit

I gave "Feed the Birds" *** and "Leaving on a Jet Plane" ****.

No Justification

What would you do if you didn't justify a reason and just made something bad?

New Videos of Me

Trying to call Ginny Kopf.

YouTube

Unsurprised

Why are people unsurprised to see a European-looking Chinese?

Seeing Things in the Mist

Did you think that Ellen DeGeneres heaves a sigh of disapproval when someone else sees something in the mist but her herself does it a lot?

Well, having said what was on my mind, I guess I should figure it out.  There may be a reason.  Maybe, it's how people act, but there's truth to it, in some way.

Also, I got a lot of negative connotation from the idea that Portia might have some racist background against people like me.  Not sure how interesting that is to most people...  I mean, anything should spark an interest, but it's kinda negative and confusing and a lot at once, for me.

My Parents

So, I wasn't supposed to talk to strangers growing up.

My mom is open to black people but not strong, though I don't really feel withheld.

My dad seems to think they're humble, racially.

Problem

I'm fed up with people getting back at me for getting mad at the things that happen as a result of the popularity of Ellen DeGeneres and Tim Burton.

I met a black guy today who worked somewhere, and I ended up inquiring about him in some way that led to him giving me his race, which he tried to say was mixed.  Then, he said he thought I was Chinese, and he said like oh your eyes and some other stuff I don't remember and the hair.  I don't really see how my hair is Chinese.  He asked if I was full-blooded Chinese, though.  However, he was kinda abusive, and he made me feel like I was kinda tacky and weak.  I walked with him and talked for it seemed like 45 minutes.  He has my number and is supposed to call.

How My Parents Taught Me

My dad never wanted me to think things were cute and pleasurable in order to succeed morally speaking.  My mom never encouraged me to be racist.

Problem

What about people who attack at coincidences?

Also, I don't believe into falling into the trap of submitting to perverted pleasures.  If you need to fix something, do it the right way.

Locked Out

I was just locked out of Facebook.  I did have trouble typing in the password and I got sent a code to my Blackberry cellphone.

Just Got Back

I just passed my home.

Street was quiet, light just turned green.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Closed

Valencia is closed, tomorrow. It's the community college, the major 1. I had mentioned I tried to sign up for Ginny Kopf's class. All the classes said I didn't meet the prerequisites.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Frozen

I had to put my coat on. My fingers are frozen.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Hot

I had to take off my coat.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Blood

I had lines of blood from my crotch that seemed strangely like battle leaks.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Here I go...

In the naked cold, smells/feels like the Cleveland area, in early October or mid.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

The Chinese

Did you actually go all out and give up like combining the appealing parts of the Chinese with being more European to appear more fair to the European race?

New Music Videos

Collected @ YouTube

Edit

I added the "Finale" from Les Misérables to my Singing playlist.

Edit

I edited my singing playlist, took away the 2 Christmas songs.

Handle on Things

So, people born before me, like in the 70s, think they have more a handle on things like Mary Poppins but don't give their kids that same world thinking they "did 1." that they found something that was unnecessary and never bothered going into anything, at all, like the children in the, like, mid 60s.

Edit

I added a timestamp and description to a YouTube, "1 Day More."

"The rest is okay but forgettable."

link

Feeling Groo vy

I just walked outside in my PJs, shorts and a tank with a fox, thought it was a toucan, while my dad was about to fix my internet, but I guess he didn't.

No One on the Li ine

So, I tried calling Ginny Kopf, again.  Guess, I'll try again, tomorrow.  Maybe, it's her Valencia office.

Problem

So, Ellen DeGeneres just choses whichever says you're wrong, doesn't really think there's an explanation, like a fun time.

Breakfast

4 Slices of Maple Bacon
Cheesy Grits
Breakfast Biscuit, With, Like, Bacon and Eggs
Full Mug Glass of Orange Juice
Sour Gummies from 711

Problem

I need a shower and more rest.  And exercise|a walk.

I noticed Ellen DeGeneres is assertive, like that other people are, and she doesn't let them be.

Problem

So, all these good people are getting mad at me and ruining my life and not wanting to admit stuff and not letting me have fun with other people.  Probably mimicking me and saying they're just kidding.  Maybe, I just have to take it as a joke and not really care.  It's too bad because I was really hoping to get attention from them and not be like reprimanded for it.  :|

Being reprimanded is okay, but in some ways, it's not the ideal of what would have happened, though you have to accept the good "things"

Problem

What do you think of Ellen DeGeneres reacting positively that I deserve something bad for something I did?

Problem

Stop wasting my time.  I'm being told that people I find unappealing are magical.

Problem

I guess Ellen DeGeneres is the new Tim Burton, but you can't have her.

The big argument was that people happened to watch Tim Burton as young kids.  I didn't even know they were that young.

Problem

What is Ellen DeGeneres's problem?  Why can't I think of something and not have it happen to me?  People make fun of me, too.  That's not supposed to "have" to happen.

Problem

Also, my grandma read the Bible with me each night and now reading isn't as fun.

Problem

STOP INSULTING ME WITH THE TIMING OF HOW YOU LOAD THE COMPUTER.  THEY CALLED SOMEONE'S FOOT VIETNAM.

Also, they think Ellen DeGeneres is insulting me for fun.  It's really annoying.  I'm not gonna think about that.

Also, stop poking at my dad because you also gave my mom glasses.

Ellen DeGeneres keeps making me feel weird and like I shouldn't be cool.

Dreams

Right now, I'm thinking of the 2nd 1.  I guess I'll go into a part where someone was kinda in it, Ellen DeGeneres, but I was trying to imagine someone carrying me and someone putting their hand around me.  So, 1st, I imagined like for awhile sometime that someone was carrying me at my butt to their hip.  Stuff like that, like how my legs were actually short and my torso was shorter, something I never thought about, like thought about about nor maybe totally noticed.  Then I imagined I was walking and a someone I was able to make up between 3 people was putting her arm around me to like my elbow for awhile, was a but sappy and then their other hand like over the front of me in places.  At 1 point, I was even imagining in a prior dream, that I was being rubbed but stopped, maybe my stomach.  I'm not sure why, but I liked to lie in bed and feather over my legs in my sleep.  So, in the 2nd dream, I was like in a dangerous land of like Pokémon.  We went into a nursing station with girls at a desk working and someone showed me, put a needle in my hand to let me feel it was fun, like it made my hand feel caring.  Then, they did it in another way again maybe in the other hand.  I contended, thinking, I had other interests, rather than other thoughts that passed me.  It had become dangerous to press against glass.  There was a little zebra, and there were some scary crocodilians.  1 was just with a little fence of rocks on a platform, and it was jutting out, wanting to jump down.  I told them the zebra was in danger.  A more boyish character girl came out with a little tubular rifle and shot out like a bomb bullet and supposedly accidentally hit the zebra, who turned into in some communication a human, like walking with sneakers, like it had dressed up, and its elbow was hit.  Before, I saw a painting with some lady artists in a little tent booth doing art of pinkish zebras and then dolphins with pink tints and a lady would make like a smaller 1 for $10.  I think the big 1 I looked at of dolphins was like $78 or maybe $48 but I think more like $80.  Then, I was like in a dance hall going around.  I guess I was lying down.  Then, I got up with 2 tall, more big girls, from the New Orleans area.  I was thinking of my hight, meditating on it.  It was what it was, 5'1" to 5'4", more short then and kinda made fun of as people seemed to seep in their sleeping bags.  I was being judged, like it was a phantasmagoria with like drums beating in the back, too.  So, I stretched up and found ooh 5'5" ... 5'6"?  So, I went up to a lady in dark lying on the floor on a stage in front with a headband I was twirling around, after a girl from that area who did a lot of dance did something with me.  I said, look, I'm 5'6", or something like that.  The person was like good.  Oh yes, that was Ellen DeGeneres, but it didn't look much like her.  However, I could still dip to 5'1", and I wasn't sure what to do ... as I lay down with a girl, before, I guess, a big girl, I was thinking well I'm still 11, not sure why, so that's why I'm 5'1", which I'm supposed to not be that big, still.  So, before that, we were like traveling, and there was this shower and I was stimulating myself a few times like across the floor.  I was thinking of how Ellen DeGeneres was stimulated "in the same way."  Some people were like coming.  It was like a bath stall or hotel.  So, I was stimulating myself not just in that way.  At 1 point, my dad came in and I was holding a towel, and I left.  Then, this was before the other dream, like we were on a ledge, and my dad was like this is a city, and I almost fell off a cliff corner of sand.  I don't remember what happened next, but it was dangerous.  There was a dream before this 1, too.  Now, I remember, also, at the nursing station, they were gonna give people shots but I guess not me for safety like in a physical defense somehow.  My mom asked if it would explode.  The nurse inserted a shot into her arm, and a long tube of blood filled and a bubble popped at the end.  I spent quite awhile wanting to feel like someone was carrying me, I guess been latching onto how I used to beg my mom to carry me when I was 2 and 3.  I guess it was like feeding birds trying to get that feeling.  Like, sometimes, I had to often base it more on seeing something, though.  I saw it like in pieces, of course, in a complex way, that I probably use, often.  In music, though, I tend to also hear things in pieces, whereas, before, I didn't and was always very bewildered, until maybe a specific song seeped in or I had listened to too much, though I don't remember the songs specifically to their experiences.  I wish I remembered more.  I saved a more happy scene for my Twitter background, a cartoon.  It was kinda dangerous and complicated.  I had about 5 folders, and some were serious, like rocky people.  Also, lately, I've been more stung to not experience a sorta rebuttle of feelings, from watching Ellen DeGeneres, and am thinking something is wrong.  I mean, just more today, I thought that.  I wish I wouldn't have to think something the opposite of what I'm feeling when I'm embarrassed, though.  I just measured myself, too, and I'm, roughly up to 5'5", meaning the average juts there when I stretch my heels down.

Edit

I edited my 2nd to last Tag.

Edit

I edited my 2nd to last Tag.

Edit

I edited my Race.

Edit

I edited my Race.

Edit

I edited a tag to Edit.

Edit

I edited the Box.

Edit

I edited the tag of my 2nd to last post.

Edit

I edited my race.

Edit

I updated my race.

Doing Stuff

I ironed my pants from about a week ago?  I called Ginny 2 or 3 more times and am recording it on my camera.  I need to do my nails.  I was gonna go out but maybe not.  Maybe see if I can get a strawberry smoothie at a Mickey D's.

I'm also washing my clothes.

The thing is my alarm isn't waking me up, isn't very big.  I prefer to wear earplugs to bed, as well.  I think I slept a lot, recently, so maybe I need to be up and doing something, like cleaning my room but, unfortunately, think I need a break, possibly will lie down.

Facebook

Like
Jack Marks Glad you're safely back home Orlagh. Wishing your
family a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
about an hour ago
http://www.facebook.com/jack.marks2

College

I see Ginny Kopf is teaching 3 classes at Valencia in the Spring, but I need help to get a loan for college if I go and am not sure if my account works.  Well, the 7th, I can technically make it.  The voice class is closed.  :{  She teaches it somewhere else on Sundays.  Won't people know where I am, if I go?  I post online.  It would be fun to go to a group class, though.  I used to not even think about it when I posted about ballet because I'm not like in eminent danger, necessarily, and must live my life, wherever I am, though I don't think anyone at the easy|maybe "bringing back" classes for adults would hurt me.  I mean, people could see me post about something famous a lot, track me down, and attack people I know.  My mom didn't describe the car accidents she was in.  Also, I post to Ginny, anyway, and you can see where she is.  She's probably not the only one in my life you'd find, and she's not really in my life other than meeting her online and posting on her site, not having talked to her yet I mean anyway.  Let's see, Acting I, which I was gonna take at Seminole or she's also doing an Improvisation class with no Prerequisites.  I didn't take Talented Theater but 1 year of high school, and my local theater didn't teach much.  I might ruin the class.  I probably won't elude to where I am if I go.  I might not even sign up for 1 on time.  I can try.  I think my hold was lifted for this semester, so I will probably sign up, unless I chose not to sign up for it.

So, I'm contacting the college, but it never answers.  Something happened, and it's not about me.

I just called her and left a fairly long message.  I told her not to call me but left my number, assuming she may be sleeping.  I connected with her well and don't really know why.  She left a long message in different languages and accents but nothing like what I'm used to in the New Orleans area.

Also, her Improvisation class is Closed but not Full, didn't say so when I signed up.  So, I might take Acting I.  '8I  The voice class, which is shorter I remember.., is full.  She teaches it in the community, as well.  I could afford it but would prefer to take out a college loan.  I'm glad the class is full, but I don't know why Acting I still has space.

So, I noticed, when I left the message, that my voice was kinda liquidy, for some reason, and thinning.  :,  Huh.

It's funny I didn't think of bad thoughts.

Facebook

Ate

2 Pieces of Beef
4 or 5 Asparagus's
Leaves That Start With an A

I also started drinking from a large glass of ice water, plus used my college glass for room temperature water for taking my pills.

New Blog

Chanda Causer

Edit

I fixed the link to the last person's blog I posted.

New Blog

Chloe

Facebook Posts

This is from the other day.


Michael Mckeithan Cute
http://www.facebook.com/michael.mckeithan.1
Like

Hiding?

I wonder what will happen to that cat. It already looks like it's in front of lights.

Like (from before)
Bethanie Adams Callis For anyone looking to work from
home.......Lets be honest, times are hard, and all you want to do is make extra money. I can help you do that! Earn 90$ a person, no buying a packet, selling anything, or shipping anything. No start up cost or fees. All I ask is that you ADD ME AS A FRIEND AND SEND ME A MESSAGE, and give me the chance to show you how, I, a stay at home mom of 3, can make this the beginning of a stress free Holiday. Serious inquiries only, please dont waste both of our time. Must live in the US, UK, &/or Canada.
http://www.facebook.com/bethanie.adamscallis


Doug Zeitz ok then
http://www.facebook.com/doug.zeitz.5

Vic Gon Liked and Shared... <3
http://www.facebook.com/VicGon69

Bethanie Adams Callis For anyone looking to work from
home.......Lets be honest, times are hard, and all you want to do is make extra money. I can help you do that! Earn 90$ a person, no buying a packet, selling anything, or shipping anything. No start up cost or fees. All I ask is that you ADD ME AS A FRIEND AND SEND ME A MESSAGE, and give me the chance to show you how, I, a stay at home mom of 3, can make this the beginning of a stress free Holiday. Serious inquiries only, please dont waste both of our time. Must live in the US, UK, &/or Canada.
http://www.facebook.com/bethanie.adamscallis


Liz Manning Thank you Ellen. I thought that you had taped
Monday's show before you knew of the tragedy. It looked hard for you. As much as I don't want to, I need to stop watching the news and reading the internet. I have gotten to the point where I can tell you their names and a bit about the person when I see their pictures. So many people from around the world are praying for this community. The woman with glass ball ornament with everyone's name inside was inspiring and the Helping Hands Project should let the town know that we are all here to reach out and lend a hand. Thank you for your beautiful show. From one family member to another, have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
http://www.facebook.com/liz.manning2

New Blog

I put the ones who don't update their blogs on the bottom of my People Page.

Glasses

What do you think of people who don't need glasses?

I feel alive

I feel alive like in the New Orleans area but not as weighted down when I got busy.  Maybe, I need to ask my dad for money and use my allowance of $190 to get food out at night for hm ... well, the grocery store probably sells grapefruit juice, so possibly $5 a night.  Maybe, I'll tire of getting a dessert, but possibly not, and a cold grapefruit juice is nice, now.  So, that's $9.  At a fast food restaurant, I'd spend maybe around $7.  That's not bad, $224 a month.  Hopefully, I'll start cooking soon, though.  I wanted to get some sweaters at Wal-Mart but don't have to and will probably see new clothes later, maybe even shouldn't have thought I needed that other shirt, not sure if I'll buy more later though.

What to Do

What should I do, now?  Clean my room?  Take a shower?  Iron and do laundry?  Watch "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" if it recorded on the new TV thing?  Plan my shopping and money?

New Picture of Me

Flickr

Problem

Why do you keep spouting lies at me, and what about the connotation of the word lies floats your fancy?  You don't have anything to say.  What about food?  What am I supposed to do?  My dad eats out with me but won't bring it home.

So, I get to sit here hours a day plowing through shit?

Blog Post Fail

Here I Go

Cold, even in tights.

@ 1:31 P.M.

I attached a picture I'm loading to Flickr soon.

Problem

My eyes kinda feel meshy, like they're going out, with pressure.  Kinda like fuzzy, fading.  I have a feeling I need a rest from 711.  It's so hard to come by food.  My dad doesn't seem to want to bring me home good restaurant food.

YouTube Comment

On my YouTube...

"Leaving on a Jet Plane" from yesterday,

link

Edit

I added "1 Day More" to my New Singing playlist.  C8

A Good Day to Be Born

Anyone born December 20, 2012?  3]

Problem

So, I don't think I would have succeeded in college online, anyway.  I guess I eventually had to go online, but no one told me to get a blog.

Edit

I tagged my last post Friends.

Problems

Why do people overreact to me?  My life is just a waste of their pollution.

Let's see, end of high school, beginning of college, I found it necessary to be highly active.  I wanted to slow down but for some reason got involved again.

Then, my life turned into an experiment, and I really didn't like it but enjoyed it and knew it was just something that was possible that was already done.  It just elicited such deep emotions.  Like, I saw things and they were supposed to mean something symbolically.  It was very romantic, chosing what I did, but people actually felt hatred toward me, a lot, essentially.

So, then, it was hard to study and focus, and I was kicked out of my major, not because my life turned into an experiment.  I think it's because I didn't memorize my major instrument piece, but we had to keep going to the library to listen to music with an extra course added that semester, which actually was a big deal, I think.  So, I wasn't allowed to like meditate on how happy I was in my major in college in music, it felt, but I Was supposed to sing but ended up scratching off feelings on paper thinking I was being watched and thinking maybe sometimes suddenly I noticed little clicks.  I was also kicked out of Voice and Music Education.  So, I became stressed, for some reason and probably didn't do a whole lot of singing.  So, I couldn't do well in the course away from home over the summer, a full class in a week, because it was hard to get food and because of the experiment.  So, then, I was gonna start school again, but then the hurricane hit, and we moved.  My dad was gonna move away, but we all moved in with him.  I went up north, and I couldn't even get my clothes because the bus didn't come and I got cold and failed and didn't know what to do.  After the muscles in my back became limp, though I felt it would get better for some reason, I stopped going to class and didn't even know why.  I realized that I should have Withdrawn or something but forget what it was.  I just wanted the opportunity and wanted to ask to catch up, like at my regular college.  Anyway, so, being in an experiment but not being told and told my life was miserable and it would finally be ideal, pretty much I had no responsibility.  I also heard other-worldly things and sometimes other interesting things and believed the world wasn't real, thinking ooh I'd be in trouble if I said that.  I didn't tell anyone for like at least 4 or 5 years.  So, I came home and suddenly felt very annoyed after a time, by noise.  I went back to my old school and became sensitive to noise and couldn't stand it and had to come home in the end.  Well, the 1st semester there were workers outside each day.  I felt as though I were expected to stay up and put in extra time.  The next semester, I heard other-worldly clicks in my ear that made me want to commit suicide or thatmade me feel so bad I would do something of that nature.  I didn't literally want to but didn't know what to do about it.  I even heard things and thought of things like images and stuff in my dorm room.  They didn't sound like real sounds.  I was alone but constantly miserable.  I was alone much of the semester before in a joint dorm, hoping to succeed.  I found that nothing was on the tests, though.  The only classes I succeeded in in the university and conservatory were most of the music classes, most of the honors classes, and the philosophy classes, though I didn't really make it any of the 2 post-hurricane semesters.  It was neat, though, the way things changed, 2005.  So, I thought I'd dabble in 1 last semster, I guess, and did Pre-Med for Psychiatry.  I couldn't succeed in Chemistry, and I had an Asian Biology teacher who spat a lecture.  I enjoyed the Chemistry and Physics labs.  I think I was actually young in Physics but not the lab.  I audited Chemistry II in high school.  So, I came back and did college online and my friends came over and I cooked for them and was getting out of the shower, tired.  I ended up failing, not withdrawing for a very weird reason, like I was totally hypnotized.  Now, I am allowed to do grade forgiveness, though.  My last college withdrew the grades, which I had talked about before, mainly getting back in my major there, since it was such a prestigious College of Music.  It was also the Jesuit order of the Catholic religion.  I'm not sure what I'd do at another school, really, but this 1 also has a ballet minor and it was advertized to my friends, who goof off, in another state.  So, then, I also felt tempted to go online, and I kinda messed up my 1st impression and just sat there wasting time, not even thinking to get a blog.  My dad even got mad when I wanted to go to college partly on campus, and I quit.  I was only in 4 courses, I think.  So, I felt tortured in my room, needless to say, and I kept e-mailing people who just didn't say anything.  1 of them suddenly got mad and said I was being mean, talking about her and the other girl, who I was each friends with a long time ago.  Well, our 6th grades split and we got new people, even many people from the area.  It was Catholic and of the oldest parish in the U.S.  I wasn't in their class.  They didn't talk to me, anymore.  It's funny, I don't think they talked to anyone else in my class, but they still talked to each other and roomed.  They also talked to a girl I used to talk to to make feel better.  She was even the roommate of the other girl.  I think she mentioned how she was Spanish, but she had a German foreign exchange student.  So, then, I was talking to the ballet teacher's daughter, and she was also a slow e-mailer.  She was highly suggestive, like another girl I knew, and for a certain reason because it was clearly a racist dodge, though I guess she would speak to me later, I just got really mad.  I had written them really long notes, before.  It was detailed, nothing like, "you nigger" nor any threats.  I forgot soon after.  These things sorta caused I guess me to kinda change I guess and it became a big deal, it seemed, to anyone who knew.

So, then, we moved, and I got store cards and spent money.  Then, my parents acted even more suggestive, and it was really annoying.  This 1 time, I was mad at racism and hit my wall, though it seemed very like civil though loud enough for my family to hear.  My mom changed, and I went to a spa lady, not having left the house before, except to take walks after awhile.  It like disconnected things in my forehead I felt connecting.  Then, I thought, in the experiment, because of the spa lady acting like she was hypnotizing me that by others and the signs of the people in the experiment that I was to at the signal or by their command or suggestion call someone the n word.  Then, it was made a big deal over, as though I meant it, and it's plagued my whole life since December 2009, so that's 3 years now.  My dad acted differently.  I went to the mental hospital, finally, which was bad, as well.  Funny thing is I wanted to eat better before but didn't make it, like a complication.  Even before that, I wanted to live on baby food and milk formula, but my parents made a hissy.  I don't believe I got anything else.  I was told to even work, but I was really tired.  I wouldn't be able to stand it, and people are really racist toward me.  That's unfair.

Edit

I tagged my last post Health...

Just Got Back

I had a sub, grapefruit juice, and 2 thick Reeses, which were good.

I'm feeling kinda tired, plasticy, need a shower.. probably should to to bed.  :(  I keep getting like stopped by these noises I here, even like when I'm changing.  So, I guess, like, I sleep for, what, sometimes 8-12 hours?  Then, an hour probably gets wasted and I spend most of my blogging time on Problems.  Then, there's an hour I watch "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" and I spend some time Networking.  I don't even cook.  What does this say about me?  I used to have more time.  So, I spend time being interrupted every so often.  This is quite a hiatus, the reaction in 2005 to Johnny Depp and Tim Burton, something no one talks about.

Problem

What is the problem?  Do people, like Ellen DeGeneres, need to stop each time you think of something tacky, like the way people are in general, when it doesn't really come up all that often.  That is gay!  I mean, I can't say anything without being knocked out like I'm the only one without a point.

Problem

Why when I make a point in some hard situation because like anything that's worth it is hard, do people then suggest something like that well it's not right and it's not like fully okay?

The reason was because of race, the point itself.  I think I've asked questions before that haven't been answered.  I should probably leave them up, somewhere.  I did answer some of it.  I think people just are out to make me feel bad.

Edit

I had to retag a video with the movie title.

Politics

Nice Article on the President: link.

Problem

So, you can't divide things into what I already said, that it's about what you do and about your personality, as separate things?

Problem

So, since Tim Burton and Johnny Depp, you think it's time to be more thinking you're right to call certain people niggers and not really care about anyone?

Ate Yesterday

I cooked a pan of these certain greens that start with A and about 5 asparagus, have about 5 left.

Problem

So, apparently, my dad thinks my life should be littered with problems.  Why is he nice to others.  He's pretty much a pig.

Problem

So, I was at 711, and this isn't really a big deal.  So, there was a tween working there, and she slammed something hard.  I was home today and mad and wanted to take out my anger but didn't realizing my parents would call the police, which they aren't supposed to.  So, I just figured I'd have to take out my anger.  I mean, I don't want to **** anyone.  I wouldn't think of ruining them.  I could by accident.  I mean, even when I close the door, I feel gay.  I gave a pretty big hint in a warning.

Problem

I was gonna post something about my life related to Ellen DeGeneres's Tweet but forgot.

Edit

I tagged my last post Finance.

Feeling Blue

I feel like walking over to the gas station to get a nice sammich.  I did like the grapefruit juice and don't think they have any good dessert.  I have cake, at home.  I might have a lot of money, considerably.  It feels like tomorrow is Friday.  I was supposed to get a recording device in my room from my mom, but we just got a new thing for the TV.

Problem

Last season, Ellen DeGeneres was onto what you think in private.  This season, I thought she had messages for me as annoying clicks in my room and then got mad she did it, then like I couldn't get restaurant food taken to me recently, my mom got glasses, and I think something else, more of an idea, which made sense in the end.  Like, sometimes, I didn't feel like going to the grocery store or my dad wouldn't buy me enough some.

TV

It looks like Ellen DeGeneres is taking a break maybe after Christmas because I guess I never had to check out who was coming up that much in advance because I don't ever feel that well, have that much life.  I'm busy blogging.  I know no one reads it, and it's all about being mad about things, like after I've watched her show.

Problem

So, you want to sort out your thoughts, yourself?  What's all this, oh, I decided I will hold onto a fault against one person so I don't admit I don't really think they're that good?

Problem

Do you know anyone older who had their big start, so-to-speak, as a tween?

Problem

Why is my mom nice to mean people?  Did this one not outtrick her?

TV

I honestly wish that TV show hosts didn't go on vacation, but I just realized they needed 1.  We used to travel on vacation, at a certain time period, I did a lot.  I burned out, and now my life is over.

So, I'm guessing this was Ellen's last episode, wait, tomorrow?  :(*  What about the new year?  IMDb!  BD  She'll be on Twitter, so this will be fun.  I guess she won't be posting herself unless she gets in the news, which it is a good chance|whatever.

1st time I saw her, I was pretty happy the season was over because I was tired, also of calling my grandma each night, who always seemed mad because of the n word thing..  It stil bothers me.  Apparently, I looked at her on Twitter sometimes.  Funny thing, 1st I followed her because she sparked an interest, caught her, decided I was supposed to take a look at her show.  I was afraid to follow her on Twitter and felt that I was supposed to take a break, under it all.

I wonder if something else will be on, like Jimmy Fallon.  I think "Ghost Adventures" will still play.  Maybe, there will be good Disney Christmas stuff.  So, if I find out she's out until Januray, which I started getting into some things in February last year and then her show by April, which seemed like a long time ... also, it seemed to be a big deal I got into Kate Bush more and it took over the entire season, taught me to dance when I sang.  It really molded me to also see her, on top of Tim Burton.

What if Ellen DeGeneres stopped her show?  I guess other people could, too.  Jay Leno is in 2014, unsure of why.  I guess he's ancient history in media.

Problem

Ellen DeGeneres, because of you, I don't want messages that you're trying to mold my dad.  I don't want a relationship with him if you're helping him.

Problem

Didn't I already make a blog post, buried somewhere... anyway, no one responds to this in my life.  I don't know about categorizing things like this.  So, I got mad, locked in my room, because of New Orleans and then Orlando, after Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, felt totally tortured, and e-mailed people nicely.  My dad rattled on that I called them niggers, like it mattered..  I think, 1st, someone stopped, or maybe it was someone else.  Well, I think, then, I got mad at a girl, but she was acting racist.  I know it's improper, and I wanted her to talk to me more.  I don't remember what I said, but I didn't say, "You're a nigger," or, "I'm gonna *beep* you."  I used to write more very, very detailed.

Oh, and no one would admit she was really being racist.  It was very contrived.  You know, they just rattle on about morals and being white, and they're part Native American indian, like Johnny Depp.  I might be.  Wow, but they don't really mean it but will rattle on more.  They're like balloon heads.  I don't think this is the right way to talk about something, but I guess we should have started writing sooner.

I don't know what about Johnny Depp in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory directed by Tim Burton strikes a nerve with you.  You're gonna have to be taken in and realize this is your problem and that I don't approve of this problem, which I see in everyone I meet very strongly.  You'll just have to get out of my life, in this way.  Help!  Someone do something.  The police aren't listening.  They're invading me with messages.

Problem

So, non-Floridians want me to be subject to only Floridian treatment.

Problem

Everyone in Florida is acting like I'm not from here, my grandma.  No one will listen to me.

Also, I am a physical person without the non-Floridian base.

Think about Johnny Depp.

Problem

WHAT'S WRONG?  I'M GONNA *BEEP* YOU ALL AND NEVER LET YOU GET FAMOUS AND HAVE FUN.  TIM BURTON AND JOHNNY DEPP HAVE NORTHERN FRENCH CULTURE, AND I WAS HAVING A GOOD TIME WITH THEM.

Ooh, did I strike a nerve?  Who cares about you?  You're nothing.  You're so sensitive to that.  You're just bad.  Stop acting like I'm too bad.  You're gay.

Problem

*BEEP* TIM BURTON HE WON'T STOP ACTING LIKE I'M BAD SINCE THE N WORD THING WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM YOU'RE NOT COOL YOU KEEP ACTING LIKE THAT'S ALL THAT'S IMPORTANT YOU'RE JUST BAD

What did he do?  He gave my mom glasses, he made my finger stiff, he's filling the media with hints to people I hate who treat me like niggers and acts like I could have treated them like niggers.

Problem

So, I was gonna post something to Ellen DeGeneres, but then this happened.  I was gonna reflect on my past.  I had posted a lot on someone's Facebook.  HEY I DON'T FEEL LIKE TYPING.  DID YOU DO THAT ELLEN?  SOMEONE *BEEP* MY DAD.  I DON'T GIVE A CRAP ABOUT THIS.  STOP!  WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?  YOU A PIECE OF SHIT?

Problem

Now, my finger felt stiff.  Thanks, a lot, because when you get mad, Ellen DeGeneres keeps hurting you, like she's cool and doesn't think.  Well, I believe everyone else is mostly bad.

WHAT AM I GONNA DO ABOUT MY LEFT POINTER FINGER - NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER

Problem

So, you're so snappish you think oh just hurt my mom because I'm|she's not white??  Stop, if you all care about my little brother more than me I'm gonna t*** you apart.

Eating

Personal Pan Deep Dish Pizza
A Glass of Cold Water

Problem

STOP WASTING MY TIME YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT - I think Tim Burton is doing it, but I liked him.  I guess you're all just worthless.

Problem

SHUT UP

*BEEP*

Stop wearing out my language.  Stop attacking me.

STOP THIS PERSON IS GIVING OUT THREATS I SAID LISTEN YOU NIGGER

Problem

GO TO HELL NIGGER

SOMEONE B**** HIS|HER ANKLE

Problem

STOP IT IS THAT FROM ELLEN

What you think you can break my ankle?  GO TO HELL NIGGERS

Problem

So, I can't take out my anger, physically.  What will I do?  I was at 711, and someone slammed something.  ELLEN DID IT.

Problem

SHUT UP GO *BEEP* YOURSELF

Problem

My mom is acting up.  She acts like suggestive to me, like how she used to care more about me.  Who cares about her?  Why isn't she fat?  And out of proportion.  She made it so I couldn't think, and I took all day on my homework.  I think my mom and dad made it harder for me.  She's being suggestive, something I forget that supposedly my dad's mom said.  Just knock out my dad and his side, they're annoying.

Edit

I added my blog to my Twitter.  3|

Problem

Oh, wow, is Ellen DeGeneres suggesting another stupid idea?

Facebook Post

Facebook

Edit

I changed the Being Shy Tag to Personality.  Not sure where to put it.

Being Famous

Did you ever think of what it would be like to post online a little sooner and have people all save a place for you?  I was hoping that people, lots of people, would find me, and I'd get lots of views and even comments.  The idea came to me gradually and under great control, though I suppose people could have issues with me.  I do feel helped by other people.

I came across some blogs looking things up and looked up another I didn't put on my list of people.  I understand that I don't know many good blogs and that others have, but I'm not sure how much.  I've seen some blogs that were kinda packed, but I wasn't able to really understand|get into them.  Not much, though, but 1 I remember concretely.  I knew the person, probably didn't contact the person, at least not by her blog.

Ate

I had some crackers with spread, some leftover, the non-wheat ones, including the cheddar-flavored crackers with peanut butter, the whole thing, probably won't get this kind in the future, gonna get all the kinds without peanut butter and maybe the other 1 with peanut butter if it's affordable.  I had some of the sour, sugared gummies, labeled best by Oct. 27, 2013.  I don't know if I'm going back to sleep or just lie down, maybe watch myself some on YouTube, maybe work on posting on IMDb.  Since hitting my forehead, I've been more tired waking up.  I noticed I slept more tonight.  I was a little sick, sniffling, with irritation, too, from smelling that guy walk by.

Dreams

The 2nd 1 I remember well now.  What made it interesting is that I was at a school.  I'm not sure why I dreamed someone was carrying me like a kid, again.  It was a lady.  So, it was like, I think in both dreams, you go behind the scenes of a school and it's like a big maze with chairs and stuff around and it's really dark.  Supposedly, it's dangerous.  I guess it was interesting, I knew I was really buried in my bed, and I thought of another hand that was more with bones jutting out, but like rounded, and it turned out it was my hand.  I touched my lips, and I guess I was more physical than I really am, and it was like when you put your hand on someone's mouth, except I was putting my fingers around my lips and thinking of how it would stimulate you, like to make "me" feel better, in attempts to prevent me from letting out a noise.  Otherwise the lady would have pressed my mouth against just below her shoulders.  I guess I thought that my butt was being pressed.

In the dream before, a lady came and 1st contended to someone older and then came up to me, and when she pressed my crotch it was stimulating, like kinda feminine, like fairy-like, and somewhere else.

I know in the last dream, it was like about graduating and going to these shops, 1 small and later a huge 1 of food, like a Super Wal-Mart, though it wasn't a smorgasbord.  I was with my grandma and little brother.  I told my mom I wanted donuts, I think.  I was with a man and black lady with these like sweet biscuits or whatever with colored cream on them and sprinkles.  Like, a more big wooden display.

I don't remember the trek with my friends and peers.  I know we had to walk around places, a maze, in the back, and we found where we came from, thought it was like a little bobsled road but for cars.  Like, we ran into it and had to use it to get to the path.  It was white and kinda like sweet like candy.  The maze was rather long and laborious to cross and not all easily laid out.

I guess the most interesting part was the person holding me.  So, the 1st person was really just a person, but it was like Ellen DeGeneres.  I'm sure thinking of her a lot in my sleep for like a few minutes at a time.  The 2nd person was Aunt 2 with my grandma.  30

So, you get the picture, when I was in the maze with a person carrying me, I guess it interests me in life.. I don't know if it's because my mom is shorter.  I mean, I think everyone is interested.  I guess they just are too busy and don't really get like that sorta feeling of wanting people to be sorry for them or feeling sorry or something like that.  I went out to 711 last night, and the girl at the register, since my nails weren't painted, scanned that "I was" shy, like here we're all kinda in a group, different than other places, which is interesting, not like any 1 other place.  I mean, it's Florida.  Then, she slammed a loud noise at my change.  I had to shift gears.  I guess I'm being spotted and felt for in this area.  It just feels like that's the way things go.  It's hard to understand that, posting online all the time, like.

So, about being carried in a dark room, I guess it was circumstantial.  It was kinda dangerous.  I think, I was supposedly like "little" or "small," feeling how I am, though.  So, it's like you're in this place that's like feasible technically but like has issues and you're being like protected in a kinda strict way but also like being touched and I guess you have to come to accept it.  I know that exercising in your life helps.  I'm guessing that doing arts also helps.  Posting online gives you cyber***.  I'm not sure I quite knock on that.  I'm not sure how most people feel, but I know, here in Orlando, we feel  or I feel kinda like I'm a tube with gel floating in it.  Before, I used to maybe feel my bones.  I'd feel the muscle growing on my forearms.  Like, I'd feel it a little and want to feel it more.  I guess I learned from different women I knew how to feel.  In college, I don't remember as many of those kinds of women.  At Arts school in New Orleans, we had this teacher who looked kinda both smart and attractive and not too thin.  I thought she woke up and took jazz each morning, didn't think too much what it was like to do at home but probably was thinking about aspects of it I'm not remembering now.  She had this resounding voice.  She had fluffy, like wavy and kinda more course light, more reddish yellowish brown hair.  Well, you get the picture.  She had a more fluffy face.  I think she spoke to me once, and I got everything right.  I guess we were in a group, and she said not to be shy.  I don't think people at this place were touching people.  It was a summer session, and me and another girl I played a piano duet with got the highest award.  I also went on Saturdays and was the oldest.  This was my last year.  There were no awards.  She was supposed to come to the college I was at, a prestigious school for music that is not quite as alluring now, I think my 3rd year, when I left and wasn't even in music.  She was a composer and went up to maybe Canada to "just compose," which makes sense, in a group.  I was about to be a Composition major and tried to get in Voice.  I was unaccepted and came back as a Music Education major and didn't audition for Voice and was kicked out of Voice for being shy, for some reason, at the end of the year, as well as out of Music Education.  I started a class since another was taken and then switched to 2 Honors level 2 classes.

Lying Down

Naptime 3)

Edit

I made the Me Singing Playlist private.

Edit

I added another star to the YouTube the other day of "Feed the Birds" from Mary Poppins.

IMDb

Edit

I added another * to my YouTube from the day before of the "Finale" of Les Misérables.

Edit

I made the other 2 videos only 1 *.

YouTube Video

I added an extra star to "Leaving on a Jet Plane."

Problem

So, just for fun, things will get violent with me for being proud of any relationships because I'm not all technically "Caucasian."

Edit

I tagged my last post Arts, also.

Problem

I know that my eyes kinda turned off when I got glasses.  I was feeling pressured a lot for my race and because my dad was not like a wild man and my mom had dark, reddish eyes.  Anyway, I was the best in gymnastics but not on a team but seemed to move up often for some reason and did art since I was 3 or possibly "2."  I was considered artistic all the time.  But then I got glasses but still was a good artist considerably, though when my vision got worse and I moved I guess things looked kinda like I drank coffee.  When my glasses are off and I look at the screen, the colors appear real, like it's still the 90s.  The good thing is I can actually function without glasses, and things don't look blurry in the dark.  I know things weren't blurry before I took the medication.  It might have gotten blurry after I came back from school and we had to move to a house quickly to avoid the constant noise.  I know sometimes things appear blurry but I just feel for my eyes and it becomes corrected.  So, I can actually see, but I can really pressure my eyes.  I need to film my eyes up close.  They're kinda like I guess 90s eyes but have a kinda fuzzy feel of protection, for some reason.  But, no, if I went outside, I would not be able to see things clearly.

Problem

My dad wears glasses.  I wonder if that's why my mom does.  He acts stupid.  He says he's smart but not as hard-working as me.

Showered

I took a shower and bath.  My vision is a little blurry.  My dad suggested I was blind.

I also have cream over a rubbery, salty pimple over the side of my lip.

My neck's been hurting, and now my back had a kinda fold, like a crease, in the middle.

I almost fell asleep in the bathtub a few times.

Problem

My dad is being annoying again, and it seems highly unnecessary.  Why is he even there?  He's just lying and pranking.

Stinky

I really need a bath, can't get into bed.  Gonna lie on my sofa.

711

There was a guy with a very typical but not too like specifically characterized homeless smell, that reminded me of my own smelly situation.  Some girls working there also sounded like they said something was rotting flesh.  One of them sang a kinda hip or spunky tune, and it was pretty good.  (Something just fell over.)  There was a girl shorter than me with PJ pants who was cute and walked behind me, kinda nostalgically, maybe dark-medium brown hair bunched up in the back, straight and smooth.  So, I had a sub with pickes, grapefruit juice, and sour gummies which weren't very sour.

Back!

Ugh!  I wanna lie down but need a bath.

Hiccup

I just hiccuped.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

New Friends

Í'm going to make new friends.
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Riding Hood

I have my hood on, about to cross a road.
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Not Cold

It's not very cold but scary.
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New YouTube Videos

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See you all, a little later...

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Problem

So, can Ellen DeGeneres sing?

Problem

Uh, am not feeling well.

Tim Burton can't say oh everything's okay, and then say no it was what.

Edit

I italicized The Phantom of the Opera in my last post because I was humming, "Feed ... the birds."

YouTube Videos From Before

I added "Feed the Birds" from Mary Poppins to my Newest Selections Playlist and uploaded "Prima Donna" from The Phantom of the Opera from the last time I sang.

YouTube

Ou!

My right hand fingers have been hurting, the joints.  I put on some moisturizer to see if it would help.  I think the sun, also, did it.

Edit

I added 2 videos to my new singing videos playlist, the "Finale" from Les Misérables and "Tonight" from West Side Story, which is probably by Andrew Lloyd Webber (ALW.)

Problem

Ellen DeGeneres seems to be pushing me to submit, but I won't, because of the n word thing.  Haha, I will never, ever, ever submit!  ;D

I'm back!

Grown

I just wanted to see if I could grow and relax naturally and sleep in peace.
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Keep Walking!

I stopped jogging and started walking.
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I forget.

I forget what I was gonna say.
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Consolation

The music is so consoling.

Cheery.
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The Ghost of Christmas Past

Look what happened to your Christmas's.
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See you all, a little later...

Eating

Mickey D's

Ranch (Grilled) Wrap
Mushroom and Swiss Burger
SW Salad With Poultry
Fish-O-Filet Sandwich

Strawberry Smoothie

S'mores Pies

Showered

Problem

Hey, Ellen DeGeneres, making fun of me again like I'm junk?

Problem

So, Ellen DeGeneres is telling me I'm what I don't want to be.  That doesn't make sense.  She won't explain.  She gave my mom glasses and thinks she's not going to prison.  She is taking my friends away from me.

That's sick.  I'm not here to submit to your perverted fantasies.  Get on Blogger.  What do you think I am, a nigger?  You also suggested something mean and got other people involved in the message.  I already contacted the police about people making fantasies about others.  My last topic is being updated at my leisure for "..the world to see.."

Problem

So, what do you think about Ellen DeGeneres not nicely versing her thoughts on Blogger?

Edit

I added the new People tags to the pages.

Problem

So, on Twitter, I messaged someone, said they were mean and asked why anyone would care what they said.  Then, I asked if Ellen thought I was white and said jk.  Then, she e-mailed back upset.

Twitter

Problem

My Twitter got suspended.  I missed 2 interactions.  Someone is being a nigger.  I had made a friend.  I was mad at Ellen because I thought she had a pact in giving my mom glasses or Tim Burton made her uneasy and is uneasy around others.

Ate

Italian grain bread from bakery, sliced
good packaged honey ham
lemon sauce or dressing
these dark green leaves I found

I almost threw up so didn't do the dishes nor shower, might lie down.

Cleaned Some

I cleaned a lot in my room, have lots left to go through and even have to wipe something up.

Eating

I had a breakfast muffin with like eggs and bacon, frozen.
I am having more deep dish personal pan pepperoni pizzas.  Maybe, I'll have a hamburger and a hot dog.  I'm also eating healthily, like alternating.

Problem

Wow, so no one really talks to me.

Problem

Stop sending me these insulting messages all day.  I want to h*** these people.  Get them out of my life.  What about my life and my relationships, though?  I'm involved in something important.

Problem

I ordered pink glitter eye shadow, and I got gold.  I think they did it on purpose.  There's a coincidence, so I'm sure it was done on purpose.  They're messing with me.  Someone do something, I'm tired of P1.  I didn't do anything wrong.  Stop picking on me.  Post it online, Ellen DeGeneres.

Problem

I got more messages while watching the show.  What should I do?  I kinda forgot what I was thinking.  I kinda don't want to post what I remember.

Problem

Now it works, but STOP was spelled STPO.  I got a message going to sleep, too.

Problem

My computer was about to not turn on, the screen.  I have a chord going to my room from outside for good power.  The minimize button on Firefox was gone.

STOP IT ELLEN.  WANT ME TO CALL THE POLICE ON YOU AND GET YOU SENTENCED TO *BEEP*

Problem

I got another squeal of pain from Ellen.  There's a package by my door with a book of Shakespeare monologues over it.  My mom passed by and looked at my feet and said something.  *BEEP*  Then, I got a similar insulting message.  *BEEP*  Someone do something!  See if you can *beep* these people.  Ellen DeGeneres and Tim Burton.  I told you to stop.  Look, someone do something.  No one cares what you say.  I'm not gonna go into this.  I can't even get even with this if you were in the room.  I can't even t***** you enough.

ELLEN STOP THESE MESSAGES.  What's your problem?  You're nothing!  You're just mean and send me these messages.  Then, maybe you didn't, but maybe you did.  It's because of you, though.  Why should I care about anyone related to you?  You're not white, are you, and hey you're just gonna make fun of me.  You keep acting like I'm not white.  What, what am I supposed to do?

Dream

I was at college going around, and my dad told me what to do.  I wanted to go in a house, and there were these cute cats.  I think, the 1st time I got in, and someone helped me and it lated awhile.  I had written a dream down about a guy from the theater where I used to live getting hurt, the one I wrote about in Twitter.  It was the same thing almost.  He was big.

Then, I remember being involved with my mom.  Well, I was going around and decided, my dad saying okay, to just worry about getting food, to find a McDonald's and asked if I liked it rather and I said yea the chicken sandwich, grilled, and went down the stairs.  Instead, I was at the top floor of a dorm with a really high ceiling.  The rooms were open.  My mom was at a desk in the center with her course book.  I was at UNO.  I was looking at course.  1 I remember was Acting.  It was more interesting than 1 where you present things.  There were words, little descriptions, why I liked it, a clean white catalog, almost the size of a magazine.  There were pictures of kids, including some nice tan 1s who didn't really look like you'd want to be them, unappealing.  1 reminded me of her name, "energy," never thought fo that.  So, supposedly, 1 girl from drama a year older there was the daughter of a witch and never knew her mom.  I thought up north that she did something and looked like a waitress, like she was tortured in a made up way that wasn't graphic.  I thought it was part of the experiment.  So, my math teacher from the other school was like related to her in some way, and I saw a baby in like a cradle crying, a boy, I think in her dorm.  I told them flashing by a little later I didn't know my aunt.  So, I saw on her side, which was like 3 stories high, and clean, like in an institution where we get better and have real adventures, high up, notes to me and around the corner on the other side.  So, what now, I forget.  I guess it was too late, I fell asleep, and then it was even past 12, 12:40, to eat.  I must have went in my dorm, lay down and looked up and realized I was at UNO.  Oh yes, then, she came in and smashed my guitar, a violin, harp, the TV, which was my mom's, though it just left like a film broken over it, so I said nothing.  She said Ellen told her to do it, and I got up madly with 2 pillars, as though someone would hurt me.  I said, "Where is she?  Bring her in!"  It was like she would appear.  I realized it was dangerous for me to sleep so said, "Want me to promise not to hurt her?"  Then, I was like oh yea we don't know I won't, like in my sleep.  Well, my harp sounds different, and an Irish harpist with a French last name just had a baby.  People were going by from 2 of my high schools wondering where I should go, public or Catholic.  I was already mad at someone and didn't know who, I think a lady who was big probably.  I was gonna say more but forgot.

Dream

Yes, it was very stressful, when I knew I was gonna be chased to be eaten.  I also didn't realize that person from my Facebook was in my dream, at all.

Back to Bed(lam) ***)

Edit

I added the Me Page.

Problem

I'm so annoyed at this private messages from Ellen DeGeneres.  She keeps getting friendly with others like I'm not white because she wants to feel she's better.  Too bad she's ruined my life.

Problem

I feel like I'm being closely monitored.  These noises in my room get annoying.  Every move, I have to check, since watching "The Ellen DeGeneres Show," this season.  I wasn't welcome to follow her on Twitter freely when summer began.  I care.

Problem

I had to adjust the spaces in the post again, this time.  I did that on Facebook for the posts when I had my window smaller.

My Experience in Orlando 6|7 Years

So, something interesting is I thought I was an experiment and everyone knew about me.

In the end, I thought that people weren't real and stopped communicating to me altogether for maybe a few years if I count.

Then, I wonder even if people think about me, at all.  I always feel they're talking.  So, I went to Southeastern Florida, and the cars there seemed to speak, as well.  I haven't been out to see if people knew about me more specifically, at sight.  It is amazing going along the road here with all the cars roaring back, with your ear plugs, thinking they're all talking, saying something.  Since majoring in music and the experiment, I think every sound is like a word.  So, that's over 5 years.  Also, in bed, I heard a real sound.  I assume it was planted in me, like influenced, and it could have been real.  It sounded other-worldly, 1 sound, like a figment dragon.  I was feeling dead, like I was nothing, from seeing The Hobbit.  I even wonder if some of the people were talking to some people who knew about me.  So, I saw other movies, like The Expendables ... 3? and I mean that was different, I think.  I just think that people used to be really racist.  Well, they still are difficult.

Well, all people here seem to know about me is thoughts of my future daughter and maybe son and like what I'm doing, like am I watching "The Ellen DeGeneres Show."  It seems to travel around the store.  It's quite natural.  Well, the people here are pretty crazy, in my opinion.  I have a way of thinking of what people are literally doing.  I guess you could almost say people seem to turn to monsters.  Well, before, seeing from my early blogs, 2010, they seemed pretty mean, the cars going by were all racist, but I got used to it staying here longer.  I could barely make out words, at that point.  It was kinda like sorta like a miracle but seemed hard and a bit like taxing.  I would quickly write it down.  Now, I have a noisemaker and earplugs.  xp  Tired going back to bed I think.  I've been waking up a little crazy since hitting my head.  I know that can kill you.

Dream

So, Ellen DeGeneres made the swirlies important, and I like laughed and like glided through, through!

Dream

The complex rhythm was like every movement was so intricately connected to one another.  My younger aunt stretched her face, and her nose got small, and she thought it was like mine, but I said it was the proportions.  She was smiling opening her mouth like yea.

Speaking of my Genetics tag, when I moved to Orlando, on TV they had this lady on a green and black grid, like green glow lines, and they had a joke of like a baby that got big and taken out and grew to be superhuman and only the mom was a certain size.  I could never remember what was going on in different things.

Dream

I was lying down and my mom told me to wake up to drink some tea, though I didn't want to very much.  She had a larger glass and a smaller one I almost finished.  Rather, it was powder.  That lady on Facebook, Ginny, was outside the door.  Then, my dad was there by an old computer.  He was mad and drawling about what I wanted to do and probably asked me something, yes, that I forgot now.  He said to join him for lunch.  I think he was wondering if I wanted to be carried or like have a relationship with certain someone.  I was gonna go out to eat and have a dragon with a small, circular mouth accompany me, like a purple, wet dragon, and it did, kinda like a big snake.  It was nice.  It turned out to be someone I know, well, my cousin.  Then, her mom was there, turned out to be the older sister, who is shorter.  Then, it was the mom, and I sized myself up to be her size and said I was bigger than them all.  The mom was there, too, my grandma.  Then, I left again.  I think 1st I saw a version of 2 small kids from Mary Poppins, and I got the rhythm I saw, which was like a combination of German and Dutch but English and was complex and sick a bit.  They realized I knew it because I wasn't American and then that my mom had European heritage, for so long in ancestry.  Then, I was on like a building, a slim portion, like a chimney top place, like a ship with some boys, then they realized it was because I was white, had a Caucasian American dad.  Then, I think, there were 3 dragons to eat us 3 creatures.  1st, 1 ate 1 slimy creature.  It spit out like a shark tooth.  It finally ate another.  The 1st was small and kinda round.  Then, it chased me.  I had indicated to run.  I easily glided a cro ss a pool that was like a video game from 1998 that came with the computer, an easy one.  I was under a canopy.  Oh, I forgot, I went on a ride that was voiced by Ellen DeGeneres, a movie, but we just saw the dazzle eyes, the swirls, in black and white, all over, like a friendly ride, kinda cheap-seeming but actually quite elaborate.  My dad was there.  So, I got behind his girl and held onto her sash, like a Dr. Suess movie girl, kinda thin, like Beauty and the Beast.  I remember the 1st scene was long, asking me what I wanted and waking me up and having me walk around a large, somewhat dirty but interestingly furnaced hotel room, kinda orange with a big black window on the side.  So, anyway, the creature got me and finally I said to "eat someone else."  It's stomach, a section gooily crackered open and a ball came out under it and was reaching me, stickling, and I woke up, realizing I guess it wasn't gonna eat me, startled some people, and thought of Disney because it's on my blog.  Something else I was gonna say, ah yes, I was going around and saw some kids.  I realized I did Music Education and was full of something.

So, the kids were loudly rasping "Jolly Holiday" in a weird form that seemed like a combination of English Dutch and German Dutch, which I never thought of, though they were English, supposedly.  They were holding like dark brooms with bristles.  The girl was wearing the orange.  I only noticed her mostly, but she was more European and physical.

Right now, I feel like the monster that was going to eat me, my lips sticking out a lot and kinda thick seeming from the inside.  Also, I had 2 black therapists walk with me and asked if I wanted to go to Disney.  They made it seem like an adventure.  I said well I don't have any money, and they never really wanted to.  1 was about my age, maybe a month older or younger.  The other was an adult with a girl in modeling.  I've had other counselors here because of the mental hospital.  The whole time, I didn't think about Disney, but I was at it, so I guess yea I mean I thought about it in that way.

I was trying to think of something, like someone carrying me, in the bed, and I was woken up and had to think of something more materialistic but didn't.  My dad was giving me "new rules."  Just to see him at lunch I think.  He said I'd do something like weave poofy, dark things all day and then come home, but I realized I'd be too tired, even if all I did was sleep in the evening, 6-6 about?  I was feeling like kinda gooey from the fat, having had bacon each morning, about 5 pieces not cooked much, in a microwave.  My brother was cooking that before we saw The Hobbit for a long time, the kind I didn't like, the thick bacon.  I decided I liked what I'd been having, the maple bacon.  I've been having a pack of 2 frozen deep dish personal pan pepperoni pizzas like 3 times in 2 days spread out.  Why?  Because I want to eat fancy food and my dad didn't get it so I hope we go soon.  I guess I'm weaning from my previous diet.  For awhile, I was having fancy so - wait, in my dream, the monsters were in like a cartoony moat with probably triangular waves elicited - so bad soup in a can I learned to dislike, having it a lot, like before when I wanted to get like turkey, potatos, etc., and eat it alone.  So, I had the soup with sauced breaded frozen chicken, Tysons, which I know isn't really healthy, for some reason, the breading and something in the sauce and probably something else.  With Triscuits.  I had those a lot in college with cheese.  Now, I'm having cheese well crackers with spread or sticks with cheese but am liking the spread cheese better, just want some without peanut butter, which I had in the mental hospital.  Also, there's cheddar crackers with peanut butter.  When I went to the mental hospital in New Orleans, I learned to like grits, and that's what I've been having with bacon.

So, I just got up and noticed I was more European, from eating the fatty food and having more tendongs going to the floor.

Cleaning and Shower

House may be cleared and I may get up.

Naptime

Later

Racial Desires & Dictates Meshing

It's funny you question "what" about me and don't know my true intent, supposedly.

Problem

So, I am being bothered, and like it makes me feel weird in certain body parts.  This is rather constant.  I feel as though I'm accomplished and being attacked for it.  Also, why am I being told I'm tacky?  I think things about the way my life was was tacky.  Who do you think I really am?  Does it like settle in with you, like the eb and flow?

Problem

So, is my dad good?  I heard he didn't smile much.  Gonna just make up a joke about that because you can?  Does that make you a good person?  Maybe, he just cared about his mom, but I never thought about it that way.

Problem

Why am I being considered that I'm my parents?  Why can't I be attractive?

Facebook Post

Facebook

Problem

Want me to get you bombarded with insults?

STOP ACTING LIKE I'M MY DAD!  WANT ME TO GO TO JAIL?

Problem

I got annoying messages from Ellen DeGeneres.  LOOK STOP.  I SHOULD *BEEP* YOU.  I think you just slammed in a hurt to my dad without a hint in a warning.

No one cares about your sensitives of your worth other than just that, no sacrifice in our lives.

Problem

Ellen DeGeneres is annoying.  She's participating in torturing me in private and then ranting on about how she's doing me a favor by being older.

Also, she's trying to say she has heritage where she's from and I don't, that because of where my dad is from I can't enjoy the benefits of what I've done.

Facebook Post

Facebook

Edit

I edited the Blogs link in my Social Net tab.

Edit

I changed the order of Freddie Fallon.

Message

Congratulations, Órla Fallon, on Freddie!

CD is great!  3)  *Pets Freddie*

Edit

My last post, the space at the end was gone and there was a space near the top.

YouTube Comments

YouTube - Ellen DeGeneres and Anne Hathaway - 12-17-2012 filmed 12-14-2012

Douglas Bubbletrousers  3 hours ago
in that new french name movie she gets her head shaved dummy. its in the commercials

Me
So, is she going to sing with Charlotte Church and Jackie Evancho? No pictures of these 2 together.

Like
Sharee Narciso  16 seconds ago
She's perfect.

Me
I hope she's very ver-sa-tile.


Guess there aren't many other posts, now.  8|

Forum Post

Forum Post

Looks slow.  It broke, too.  It's interesting but a disappointment.

Problem

So, why surprise us with something you didn't let us do before?

Ate

I had 2 deep dish personal pan pepperoni pizzas earlier, probably getting tired of the brand.

I had a cheap hunk of beef and about 5 asparaguses.

Problem

Can you believe I still didn't clean?  Looks like Ellen is quite different from me as far as where she's from, which I know is what makes you who you are, but I don't think she believes that and look she has a problem with it.

Problem

Oh, so, you're checking to see if I'm popular.

Problem

So, teens feel bad because they feel racist so they're not better than Johnny Depp.

*BEEP* Tim Burton you are so *BEEP* don't put me in the nigger boat with invalid associations of races.  It's not true.  You can't go making finite statements right and left and make me so mad I post a threat and then go back and make fun of me for it.  Oh, so, other people will do it.  Hm, guess you're just like everyone else.

Problem

I DON'T BELIEVE YOU IF SOMETHING TICKS AS SEEMING TRUE IT DOESN'T MEAN IT'S THE WAY TO GO

I SAID I DON'T BELIEVE YOU, WHAT DID YOU NOT UNDERSTAND, MOVE ON

Problem

So, Ellen is bad, going back on logic of where she's from.  It looks as though she didn't put her best food forward, morally.

Problem

So, Ellen DeGeneres coming from a backwards culture, she doesn't want to give to others.  Well, I don't know what that's like.

Problem

STOP THESE MESSAGES I DON'T GIVE A *BEEP* ABOUT YOU

I don't care about Helena Bonham Carter.  I should have a relationship with my mom when I see her.  She's just afraid because she thinks being from out of the U.S. is all that and she's mixed.

Problem

I don't see more posts on Ellen's site.  She just rants and raves like a racist like Tim Burton, and now I can't post about her.  What does that say?  What am I supposed to do all day?  You know you're wrong.

Problems

Ellen DeGeneres, Tim Burton, and Kate Bush don't have morals, like Johnny Depp.

Problem

ELLEN LISTEN TO ME WHY YOU KEEP CONNECTING ME TO MY DAD AND SAYING I DESERVE TO BE TREATED LIKE I'M STUPID FOR MY RACE

Like, no matter what I do, she says I'm invalid.  BUT I'M GOOD AND I KNOW ABOUT MODERN CULTURE AND BEING EUROPEAN *BEEP*

Racial Jokes

Ellen DeGeneres doesn't really think, that is go through things carefully.  I was joking about that once, and now she seems to have stopped and I don't think I approve.

I realized that people like her and Tim Burton want to joke around with people who think they're better than others because of race.

Problem

STOP TREATING ME LIKE SHIT ELLEN I'M NOT MY DAD AT ALL YOU *BEEP* WHY YOU THINK SO I DO CARE THOUGH YOU CAN'T DO THAT BECAUSE OF SOMETHING I DID LOOK STOP ACTING LIKE MY DAD IS RIGHT TO BE SO CONTROLLING, I'M NOT EASILY CONTROLLED GOT SOMETHING TO MAKE A SOUND IN MY ROOM THAT ANNOYS ME NOW YOU ANIMAL

Edit

I tagged my last post Dad and Family.

I also had put Edit in the Social Net list.

Problem

I had to turn

I mean the showtunes turned tino shotunes.

I had to put on myslippers

4:16

ELLEN DEGENERES YOU CAN'T DO THIS STOP SOMEONE GET MY DAD I'M A PERSON AND IF YOU DON'T THNINK SO YOU'RE WORTHLESS ALSO YOU JUST MADE THE m NOT CAPITOL

Problem

WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM MS. ELLEN DEGENERES?  Look, I think I know about your culture as much as I should.  Also, why are you so sensitive?  Wow, now, you're gonna sneakily be annoying in some other way.  It's so much fun to see someone as popular as you get beat down.

Problem

Problem

I had to turn up the volume of the Movies music, Musicals in the day, on that station.

Then, I had to wash my hands and cover my food.

Problem

Then, as often, when the mouse goes in the bottom corner, which I'm borrowing from my dad still, with a chord, the Notepad went down.

Also, I remember, I had to put my earplugs in.

Problem

MY FOOD IS GETTING COOL

AND I DON'T WANNA TAG THIS FOOD

Problem

I was signed off the internet, as well.  Then, a box popped up for my e-mail|IM.  I also got another message about that.

Problem

Ellen DeGeneres is an enigma.  I wanted my nose to be more stocky, but now it flares out.  I think you could make anyone's nose flare out.  No one cares about other races, like that.  We're all born, and we're treated unfairly.  I shouldn't have to connect with my dad more than other people, in ways I don't like.

Problem

I was also locked out of Ellen DeGeneres's site and found out I couldn't post so many posts on Twitter as an answer.  I had to create a new password.

Problem

Why is my dad so important, all of a sudden?  I was in a relationship with other people.

Problem

Now, it's acting weirdly.  What is her problem?  She is highly reactive.  Or is it the people in the experiment, which I'm guessing I'm just being monitored.  :|

Problem

Now, Ellen's comments page has old comments listed.

Edit

I tagged the Blog post with my Dad and Family.

Problem

It can't be the end of the world because Ellen DeGeneres was insulted.

Blog

I like Anne Hathaway, too.

When I feel better and maybe like taking a break from posting online, maybe I should get into her.  She's like Audrey Hepburn, and Chloë Grace Moretz is like Julie Andrews.

Why are you finding me guilty for not wanting to be like my dad in every way?

TV

I just watched "The Ellen DeGeneres Show."  I really liked Anne Hathaway, but I don't like how she thinks she's more white and more humble.

Also, I got annoyed when I heard my dad snore.  My mom never pushed me to be with my dad.

Snack

Had my Philly push up pop, a bit icy, cotton candy.  :p

Problem

So, Ellen DeGeneres is not the authority.  She can't say I'm a bad person because of the experiment.

Problem

So, why is my brother supposedly so strict on, and like why am I expected to strike out on my own yet am bothered for fun?

Problem

I don't care how comfortable you are, I'm not here to blog about your problems.

My dad is not letting me have an attitude for fun, underhandedly, and people are acting like he is Burton to me.

Food

I had Italian Ice.  May have a Philly push up pop, should get more icy stuff at the gas station.

I feel kinda sick but not really bad from the pizza, not sure what to eat, shoulda had breakfast.  I kinda don't feel like beef and asparagus now.  Maybe the Chef Boyardee can of mac and cheese?  I also have sliced ham and nice new bread...

Gonna start eating out hopefully 2-3 times a week at non-fast food places.  I know I can walk to fast food places.  Even if I go alone.  Not sure if there's any places by the mall where I can walk.  I'm sure sometime my dad would probably bring some home for me if I told him in advance...

Problem

Why are people barking at me like I'm a tacky Dutch Chinese?  Does that not go?  I'm Chinese-Indonesian, 6-700 years old.  You have to accept it and not be ridiculously jealous all the time.  Wait, I just heard something, and it quite bothered me.  Is that what you think?  You can't like wish that I was like just Chinese or without European colonization.  I know that maybe the Polynesians are jealous.  It's just, well, that's that, need I go into an unnecessary topic?  It's not enlightening in that way.  How is Indonesia less white or too Asian?