Dream

I was tired and don't remember all of it.  Anyway, I remember I was in bed, and I felt people on the sides of me.  I think my arms were being like held, and it felt good, kinda like serious, kinda fuzzy, not necessarily 2 physical hands but not just a force.  I was in a hotel.  I was imagining a series of things happening, I think sometimes with Ellen DeGeneres.  So, I was in the bed, which felt like a fold-out couch bed, with white sheets.  My ears were being pinched, and they couldn't pinch them.  They were being pierced.  This lated awhile but not too too long.  Then, I said something about how I shaved my face.  It as Anne Hathaway.  I said there was hair on my mustache, which I don't know if there is.  She buzzed it, and it just felt good, didn't feel much.  Then, she quickly zipped up my nostrels and I yelled out upset.  Then, a dark shadow of Ellen DeGeneres quickly bent over and hugged me from my head.  It gave me a feeling.  It was for awhile but not very realistic and not the best feeling.  Then, for a long time, the figure massaged the middle of the base limbs of my arms.  Sometimes, I went out it seemed but not just like that, some reason I think.  Sometimes, I think of her roots, and now she was imposing on me the thoughts of her own dad.  Like, she was connecting it to her in my dream.  This lasted so long, the massaging of my arms, which was probably something I was trying to feel and decided to dream about it.  I think I finally got up.  It was a long time, and I thought it was still about her.  Anyway, my cousin had been there.  I saw her.  My face looked different, supposedly influenced from being Jewish.  It had kinda a porcelain look, with more rounded eyes rather than like stretched out round eyes.  My cousin like emitted "Chinese."  She was a little smaller, looked a bit like me when I was younger, like this picture of me when I'm 2-3 up north but not much.  So, I sat with her and some interesting things happened.  Then, it turned out that my aunt's husband's son and some other boys who looked like him were really Ellen DeGeneres at 1 point I think when I was awake, though I don't remember what it really was.  It was like she came back or like an idea of Olivia Newton-John, in the end.  So, we were in a car, and it was like someone was driving and it was hard, and then someone like Olivia Newton-John drove.  I don't remember what was going on, but it's not as interesting as me lying down in the dark.

Problem

So, Johnny Depp moved to Florida at 7, supposedly, and so did some people I knew, at least 2 but I think more.  I know someone else at 9.  I bunch them together, for some reason.  Well, it was a certain area of Florida, the oldest continuing city in the U.S.  The family who moved later aren't very substantial, anymore.  Guess they lost their appetite and their dad.  I knew she used to eat in her room at a young age.  Not very good food.  She had good breakfast.  I mean it was tasty but not to my liking.  I think for me they had fried chicken.  My mom made that a lot, for some reason, I mean got at the grocery store.  I remember someone who moved at 11 and probably more but people who moved schools.  I know someone who moved somewhere else at 15.  No one is doing well, in these places, like people from California.  I have a cousin, but I don't think I can count her because she's related to me.  Also, she's very different.  She's different in the same way as my brother, both about the same age, her a year younger, same month even.  I have the feeling my cousin held onto her mom being from Pennsylvania.  She does seem foreign but is accepted in the family, in that way.  In Orlando, there are more people open about growing up here.  I was surprised to see an old politician from here.  Well, I don't know about people from out-of-the-U.S.  I guess it's just that.  Still, there's something else special about being from a certain place.  There's my brother.  For some reason, it seems worse for him, too.  Maybe it's also his birth year.  You can guess that Latinos are known to preserve their culture, though they seem to infiltrate, the rich ones or the skinny ones with straight hair.

Dream

I was lying down and my mom told me to wake up to drink some tea, though I didn't want to very much.  She had a larger glass and a smaller one I almost finished.  Rather, it was powder.  That lady on Facebook, Ginny, was outside the door.  Then, my dad was there by an old computer.  He was mad and drawling about what I wanted to do and probably asked me something, yes, that I forgot now.  He said to join him for lunch.  I think he was wondering if I wanted to be carried or like have a relationship with certain someone.  I was gonna go out to eat and have a dragon with a small, circular mouth accompany me, like a purple, wet dragon, and it did, kinda like a big snake.  It was nice.  It turned out to be someone I know, well, my cousin.  Then, her mom was there, turned out to be the older sister, who is shorter.  Then, it was the mom, and I sized myself up to be her size and said I was bigger than them all.  The mom was there, too, my grandma.  Then, I left again.  I think 1st I saw a version of 2 small kids from Mary Poppins, and I got the rhythm I saw, which was like a combination of German and Dutch but English and was complex and sick a bit.  They realized I knew it because I wasn't American and then that my mom had European heritage, for so long in ancestry.  Then, I was on like a building, a slim portion, like a chimney top place, like a ship with some boys, then they realized it was because I was white, had a Caucasian American dad.  Then, I think, there were 3 dragons to eat us 3 creatures.  1st, 1 ate 1 slimy creature.  It spit out like a shark tooth.  It finally ate another.  The 1st was small and kinda round.  Then, it chased me.  I had indicated to run.  I easily glided a cro ss a pool that was like a video game from 1998 that came with the computer, an easy one.  I was under a canopy.  Oh, I forgot, I went on a ride that was voiced by Ellen DeGeneres, a movie, but we just saw the dazzle eyes, the swirls, in black and white, all over, like a friendly ride, kinda cheap-seeming but actually quite elaborate.  My dad was there.  So, I got behind his girl and held onto her sash, like a Dr. Suess movie girl, kinda thin, like Beauty and the Beast.  I remember the 1st scene was long, asking me what I wanted and waking me up and having me walk around a large, somewhat dirty but interestingly furnaced hotel room, kinda orange with a big black window on the side.  So, anyway, the creature got me and finally I said to "eat someone else."  It's stomach, a section gooily crackered open and a ball came out under it and was reaching me, stickling, and I woke up, realizing I guess it wasn't gonna eat me, startled some people, and thought of Disney because it's on my blog.  Something else I was gonna say, ah yes, I was going around and saw some kids.  I realized I did Music Education and was full of something.

So, the kids were loudly rasping "Jolly Holiday" in a weird form that seemed like a combination of English Dutch and German Dutch, which I never thought of, though they were English, supposedly.  They were holding like dark brooms with bristles.  The girl was wearing the orange.  I only noticed her mostly, but she was more European and physical.

Right now, I feel like the monster that was going to eat me, my lips sticking out a lot and kinda thick seeming from the inside.  Also, I had 2 black therapists walk with me and asked if I wanted to go to Disney.  They made it seem like an adventure.  I said well I don't have any money, and they never really wanted to.  1 was about my age, maybe a month older or younger.  The other was an adult with a girl in modeling.  I've had other counselors here because of the mental hospital.  The whole time, I didn't think about Disney, but I was at it, so I guess yea I mean I thought about it in that way.

I was trying to think of something, like someone carrying me, in the bed, and I was woken up and had to think of something more materialistic but didn't.  My dad was giving me "new rules."  Just to see him at lunch I think.  He said I'd do something like weave poofy, dark things all day and then come home, but I realized I'd be too tired, even if all I did was sleep in the evening, 6-6 about?  I was feeling like kinda gooey from the fat, having had bacon each morning, about 5 pieces not cooked much, in a microwave.  My brother was cooking that before we saw The Hobbit for a long time, the kind I didn't like, the thick bacon.  I decided I liked what I'd been having, the maple bacon.  I've been having a pack of 2 frozen deep dish personal pan pepperoni pizzas like 3 times in 2 days spread out.  Why?  Because I want to eat fancy food and my dad didn't get it so I hope we go soon.  I guess I'm weaning from my previous diet.  For awhile, I was having fancy so - wait, in my dream, the monsters were in like a cartoony moat with probably triangular waves elicited - so bad soup in a can I learned to dislike, having it a lot, like before when I wanted to get like turkey, potatos, etc., and eat it alone.  So, I had the soup with sauced breaded frozen chicken, Tysons, which I know isn't really healthy, for some reason, the breading and something in the sauce and probably something else.  With Triscuits.  I had those a lot in college with cheese.  Now, I'm having cheese well crackers with spread or sticks with cheese but am liking the spread cheese better, just want some without peanut butter, which I had in the mental hospital.  Also, there's cheddar crackers with peanut butter.  When I went to the mental hospital in New Orleans, I learned to like grits, and that's what I've been having with bacon.

So, I just got up and noticed I was more European, from eating the fatty food and having more tendongs going to the floor.