Problem

So, Johnny Depp moved to Florida at 7, supposedly, and so did some people I knew, at least 2 but I think more.  I know someone else at 9.  I bunch them together, for some reason.  Well, it was a certain area of Florida, the oldest continuing city in the U.S.  The family who moved later aren't very substantial, anymore.  Guess they lost their appetite and their dad.  I knew she used to eat in her room at a young age.  Not very good food.  She had good breakfast.  I mean it was tasty but not to my liking.  I think for me they had fried chicken.  My mom made that a lot, for some reason, I mean got at the grocery store.  I remember someone who moved at 11 and probably more but people who moved schools.  I know someone who moved somewhere else at 15.  No one is doing well, in these places, like people from California.  I have a cousin, but I don't think I can count her because she's related to me.  Also, she's very different.  She's different in the same way as my brother, both about the same age, her a year younger, same month even.  I have the feeling my cousin held onto her mom being from Pennsylvania.  She does seem foreign but is accepted in the family, in that way.  In Orlando, there are more people open about growing up here.  I was surprised to see an old politician from here.  Well, I don't know about people from out-of-the-U.S.  I guess it's just that.  Still, there's something else special about being from a certain place.  There's my brother.  For some reason, it seems worse for him, too.  Maybe it's also his birth year.  You can guess that Latinos are known to preserve their culture, though they seem to infiltrate, the rich ones or the skinny ones with straight hair.

Problem

So, you're so snappish you think oh just hurt my mom because I'm|she's not white??  Stop, if you all care about my little brother more than me I'm gonna t*** you apart.

Dream

I was lying down and my mom told me to wake up to drink some tea, though I didn't want to very much.  She had a larger glass and a smaller one I almost finished.  Rather, it was powder.  That lady on Facebook, Ginny, was outside the door.  Then, my dad was there by an old computer.  He was mad and drawling about what I wanted to do and probably asked me something, yes, that I forgot now.  He said to join him for lunch.  I think he was wondering if I wanted to be carried or like have a relationship with certain someone.  I was gonna go out to eat and have a dragon with a small, circular mouth accompany me, like a purple, wet dragon, and it did, kinda like a big snake.  It was nice.  It turned out to be someone I know, well, my cousin.  Then, her mom was there, turned out to be the older sister, who is shorter.  Then, it was the mom, and I sized myself up to be her size and said I was bigger than them all.  The mom was there, too, my grandma.  Then, I left again.  I think 1st I saw a version of 2 small kids from Mary Poppins, and I got the rhythm I saw, which was like a combination of German and Dutch but English and was complex and sick a bit.  They realized I knew it because I wasn't American and then that my mom had European heritage, for so long in ancestry.  Then, I was on like a building, a slim portion, like a chimney top place, like a ship with some boys, then they realized it was because I was white, had a Caucasian American dad.  Then, I think, there were 3 dragons to eat us 3 creatures.  1st, 1 ate 1 slimy creature.  It spit out like a shark tooth.  It finally ate another.  The 1st was small and kinda round.  Then, it chased me.  I had indicated to run.  I easily glided a cro ss a pool that was like a video game from 1998 that came with the computer, an easy one.  I was under a canopy.  Oh, I forgot, I went on a ride that was voiced by Ellen DeGeneres, a movie, but we just saw the dazzle eyes, the swirls, in black and white, all over, like a friendly ride, kinda cheap-seeming but actually quite elaborate.  My dad was there.  So, I got behind his girl and held onto her sash, like a Dr. Suess movie girl, kinda thin, like Beauty and the Beast.  I remember the 1st scene was long, asking me what I wanted and waking me up and having me walk around a large, somewhat dirty but interestingly furnaced hotel room, kinda orange with a big black window on the side.  So, anyway, the creature got me and finally I said to "eat someone else."  It's stomach, a section gooily crackered open and a ball came out under it and was reaching me, stickling, and I woke up, realizing I guess it wasn't gonna eat me, startled some people, and thought of Disney because it's on my blog.  Something else I was gonna say, ah yes, I was going around and saw some kids.  I realized I did Music Education and was full of something.

So, the kids were loudly rasping "Jolly Holiday" in a weird form that seemed like a combination of English Dutch and German Dutch, which I never thought of, though they were English, supposedly.  They were holding like dark brooms with bristles.  The girl was wearing the orange.  I only noticed her mostly, but she was more European and physical.

Right now, I feel like the monster that was going to eat me, my lips sticking out a lot and kinda thick seeming from the inside.  Also, I had 2 black therapists walk with me and asked if I wanted to go to Disney.  They made it seem like an adventure.  I said well I don't have any money, and they never really wanted to.  1 was about my age, maybe a month older or younger.  The other was an adult with a girl in modeling.  I've had other counselors here because of the mental hospital.  The whole time, I didn't think about Disney, but I was at it, so I guess yea I mean I thought about it in that way.

I was trying to think of something, like someone carrying me, in the bed, and I was woken up and had to think of something more materialistic but didn't.  My dad was giving me "new rules."  Just to see him at lunch I think.  He said I'd do something like weave poofy, dark things all day and then come home, but I realized I'd be too tired, even if all I did was sleep in the evening, 6-6 about?  I was feeling like kinda gooey from the fat, having had bacon each morning, about 5 pieces not cooked much, in a microwave.  My brother was cooking that before we saw The Hobbit for a long time, the kind I didn't like, the thick bacon.  I decided I liked what I'd been having, the maple bacon.  I've been having a pack of 2 frozen deep dish personal pan pepperoni pizzas like 3 times in 2 days spread out.  Why?  Because I want to eat fancy food and my dad didn't get it so I hope we go soon.  I guess I'm weaning from my previous diet.  For awhile, I was having fancy so - wait, in my dream, the monsters were in like a cartoony moat with probably triangular waves elicited - so bad soup in a can I learned to dislike, having it a lot, like before when I wanted to get like turkey, potatos, etc., and eat it alone.  So, I had the soup with sauced breaded frozen chicken, Tysons, which I know isn't really healthy, for some reason, the breading and something in the sauce and probably something else.  With Triscuits.  I had those a lot in college with cheese.  Now, I'm having cheese well crackers with spread or sticks with cheese but am liking the spread cheese better, just want some without peanut butter, which I had in the mental hospital.  Also, there's cheddar crackers with peanut butter.  When I went to the mental hospital in New Orleans, I learned to like grits, and that's what I've been having with bacon.

So, I just got up and noticed I was more European, from eating the fatty food and having more tendongs going to the floor.

Problem

So, why is my brother supposedly so strict on, and like why am I expected to strike out on my own yet am bothered for fun?

Problem

Did you realize that my dad was suggestive to my brother for acting like he gave up his life happiness because it seemed my dad changed my life after I was saucy, in a way that sparks racists's interest?  I realized my dad is being suggestive to his wife for punishing me in hopes that it would save me from torture and death and Hell.

Hanging Their Heads Low

You know, people are really devastated about my mom wearing glasses.  She was rather acclaimed as a person, quite fit and like Middle Eastern, not sure if she'd technically pass, but you know.  Maybe, she's not the most nourished person, doesn't eat breakfast, which I'd blame my grandma for.  My grandma so much as to put herself forward as to say my mom didn't take care of my dad, suggested it.  My mom thinks my dad doesn't take care of us, and my brother also feels the same.  My dad is always drooling for money in front of us, foaming at the mouth, like wild and mad dog.  We've lived in 2 apartments, however, when my brother was young.  So, my brother must be my problem.  Sometimes, my parents expect me to like care about him more, all of a sudden, like I'm no longer an individual and no longer even wish to be a girl.  Like, he's said something about my race and it's my fault.  Like, he's so much better, though I enjoy some aspects of that sort of statement.

I'm not really sure how my mom affected my life in college.  I didn't speak to my dad.  I know my aunt bothers me.  I know my dad's family are incompetent and do away with things, but his mom doesn't wear glasses all the time and got them at about the same age as my mom.  Well, they stopped going up north at the same time as me, the year after we went with my dad's sister and the daughter.  The daughter is really bad, and you want to think she's pretending, like everyone else, to make me feel good, and that I'm ungrateful and guilty, somehow.  That doesn't really say anything for me.  Same with the cousins up north, mostly.  There's this one with curly white hair, but she's not like that, now.. never talked to her much.

So, I'm kinda worried because supposedly Ellen DeGeneres is about events like this, people making my mom wear glasses.  I just feel like hurting people.  I guess the point would be well no I don't want my mom in glasses, and I mean I guess I can't do anything.  I kinda don't like people who are mean.  I mean, I'll talk to them, for awhile.  So, why is she in glasses?  I kinda want to help out because I already thought of the reason and don't think it's right.  I mean, I just don't accept it.  What other answer would come up?  What's the answer?  I think that people think I have to accept it.  That I have to accept that like it's not something I have a right to like you know get mad about.  I already blame someone.  I think we should lasso the likes of Tim Burton's effects, as though he cares not.  He's gonna continue to try to be genial, but I mean why?  Why?  Look, I'm white.  Ellen DeGeneres and Tim Burton are telling me I don't act white and also that I don't like being white.  Now, they'll deny it.  See, if this is true, they're, they'd be worthless.  You shouldn't say that, but I dunno.  I can't take these slams like I'm nothing, that I find things like my mom wearing glasses, the clicks in my room, the negative messages online.  Maybe, I need to learn to talk, but I've been online all day every day mostly for 5½ years.  I mean, my life must be really messed up.  I don't believe that I needed that long.  The problems were my parents wre mean to me and made me feel guilty for not succeeding in college, for not going to class all the time, though I was hearing clicks at that point that made me approach feelings that brought to mind the idea of being maybe suicidal.  They stopped, for some reason, next semester, when I picked a major.  I know it was a free semester.  That shouldn't matter.  See, Ellen DeGeneres is from that area and would approve of this and then get mad at me for not going to class.  How could I have gone to class?  I know I came in, and the kids turned around and looked at me like I shouldn't be there.  It feels like I might have skipped most of the classes, but I didn't have to.  Also, my life was an experiment, and people stopped communicating with me.  I couldn't focus.  I had a lot of physical inconveniences, in my life.  I was being treated like I wasn't white just because I wasn't perfect and being picked at for being a perfectionist.  So, anyway, that pretty much made me not feel good.  My life was what it was, benefited.  I came home, and I couldn't focus.  I don't know, that might be all.  I was in an experiment, and anyway I don't think that means you can torture me.  I mean, I wasn't being bad.  Also, you'd know I was a good student already before.  My parents never were onto me about school because I was good.

My Mom in Glasses 3)

Well, my dad was nasty because he's something related to the word worthless or said I was being stupid for I think the 1st time, which makes sense, though he's not keeping up with me, online..  3p

He only cared about his own feelings and threatened to pretend that wasn't the case and that I was worthless, that I was just privileged and that I didn't deserve my dignity and morals I've learned and acquired.

I got to the idea that it was related to "what" Tim Burton was.  Someone needs to do something about people hurting others to test them because of Helena Bonham Carter, him thinking she's like so precious and innocent and mistreated and like making the world think about her as though she's Johnny Depp or even him OR EVEN ELLEN DEGENERES and that no one else has anything in common with her, technically, hear that, huh, huh, gonna bother you later??

I keep getting weird treatments since watching "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" this season.  I Tweet with her because I'm online.  Nothing wrong with trying to get personal with her, but I don't need her "help."  Like, all of a sudden, I'll get really insulted and I don't remember why.  It's not bad.  It's not like you can attack me for it.  See, she's gonna read this and attack me for it on her show or post annoying stuff on her Twitter and Facebook.  Then, something bad will happen via the decision of my dad.  Why not just lock my dad up?  Then, we can see what she really is.  Because I'm kinda mad at her for ruining my family.  I don't care about her family, I mean she's like making us think they're important when ours aren't.  Now, that's a laugh.  Yea, I guess she doesn't really care, neither.  She might just act like it like to her mom.  Yea, she does have a niece.  Like, Tim Burton has a daughter.  I am not gonna hurt them for it, but I am gonna talk about it, especially Nell Burton.  Yea, it does make me feel like fighting, when these things happen, like I know I'm mad about like even my brother.  I don't do anything.  I get mad about other little kids getting attention for being naive.. for being considered the kids of a more pristine generation who's younger or for being racist and active racists as white Americans or even abroad America.

So, she acts like she cares, but I think that in some abstract way she must have caused it.  I'm worried because I liked her and think she's trying to get me to not like her and I feel made fun of for doing something other than sitting in my room like a rubber duck rubber duck rubber duck duck duck.  Does that bother you?  I hope not because if it does you do not at all deserve any attention.  I mean, in some ways it's bothersome.

So, Nell Burton has brown eyes.  My mom was tending to my brother..  Tim Burton has a violent eye problem.